2014-06-13 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

We may be unaware of how much of our own thoughts and perception goes into how we feel about a situation or person. For example, over the past week, did you have a good time or a bad time somewhere? It is fun sometimes to watch how our own mind works which is actually unrelated to the actual event or person.

For example, I went away with a group of people to a hotel, and had a chance to relax one early morning, swimming in the pool and going in the hot tub. I started relaxing and thinking what a wonderful time I was having, and how happy I was feeling at this gathering. Then a thought came into my head about a person’s comment; she didn’t think she would come back since she wasn’t having a good time, and it was too expensive. I then started to think of some of the drawbacks of the event, and after a few minutes, I felt I wasn’t really having a good time. So, was I having fun or not? I started to laugh at myself watching how my mind went from one extreme to the other.

Our mind influences so much of what we actually see. If you believe in global warming, you will see the cold snow as a sign that the polar ice cap is melting and coming here. If you don’t, you may see a cycle of weather changes. If you are religious, God may be causing the weather to be a certain way. The main thing is to realize that what we see always goes through our lens of perception. We never see what really is.

As much as possible and with detachment, you can try to peel away that lens and see what is there. It is very difficult to try to see through neutral eyes. We can allow our own sense of reality, but also realize that other people will also be looking through theirs.

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