2014-03-28 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

Letter Bombs
By Kevin Boyle

Poor Tom Morgan.

Fed up with drunken teenagers who cause mayhem on Rockaway St. Patrick’s Day, Tom wrote a letter to the editor to say the parade should be cancelled. And quite the uproar occurred. Jeez, you’d think he was a crackpot calling for a boycott of Guinness.

His suggestion about the parade caused a parade of the offended to march to The Wave with letters calling his suggestion an affront to all breathing humans.

Someone wrote to say that back in the day the Lords and Dukes brawled on the beach – and they didn’t close the beaches.

Full disclosure, I had never before heard of the Lords and Dukes – though I do look forward to reading more about them in The Wave’s Looking Back column. And from now on, I’ll be looking at guys in the Ancient Order of Hibernians wondering if they were once Lords or Dukes. For that matter, anybody over 70, I’ll be wondering if they used to rumble down on the sand. So, for my senior citizen pals out there, don’t be offended if I ask if you were a Duke or a Lord. I know a couple of octogenarians who look like they still want to start something.

Where was I? Oh, for all the outrage that Tom’s letter triggered that’s not to say there weren’t some funny retorts.

Next time there’s a drowning what are they gonna do? Drain the ocean?

Parades don’t stab people. People stab people.

Some of Tom’s neighbors were in support though. They’ve seen too many kids brawl, litter, urinate and be downright belligerent when asked to move on. Of course, some of the kids can’t move on because they’ve got to wait for their parents to come and pick them up. The cars usually come with a Student of the Month bumper sticker.

In a subsequent letter, Tom just asked for more police presence in the hours after the parade. I’m guessing the 100th Precinct will do just that next year. The suggestion seems to have community approval. So far no one has stormed The Wave office or flooded our email inbox.

Of course, I’m a little bummed. With the reaction his first letter got I was set to offer him a column (Movie Scope beware). Anyway, good for Tom, it’s good to get people worked up once in a while. Me? I say keep the parade but can we do something about those damn bagpipes?

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