2014-01-24 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

We took a walk down to the beach on Saturday which was a windy and misty day, and my grandson who is 6 was scared when he looked at the roaring waves and felt the wind. I was having a good time flying my kite, but he was so uncomfortable he said that I should take it down. It was too windy to fly it and something could happen. He ran up the hill to see the waves and then back down where the trapbags are and felt safe in the protected area. He had seen the end of the beach block still not fixed up and knew that the ocean could do a lot of harm. He also knew that due to the ocean some of his favorite old books and toys were no longer there. We told him it was okay and that the ocean was going to stay where it was, but he wasn’t so sure.

What do you do when everyone says do something, but your own instincts tell you something different? It can be very painful and make you feel lots of self-doubt. If you are dating someone you think you love, for example, and everyone says the partner you have chosen is a poor choice, or you are handling a medical issue one way and many are giving you conflicting advice, it can be so confusing.

First when assessing your own feelings, you have to see if you really believe what you are choosing is right or is there fear in control or laziness in the lead. We often will make excuses rather than change the semiacceptable status quo. Do you really feel what you think is your instinct from a positive place or a fearful one from deep inside yourself? Are you being manipulated by someone or is your feeling really your own? When you are safely assured that you are doing what you truly believe is the right way to go, feel good about it and also be open enough to hear what others are saying. There may be something of value for down the road or you may have to shift in another direction and you will have thought about it. The people offering you advice must be only the ones you trust and you know that they have your best interests at heart.

When your intuition is coming from a truly calm place and feels right, follow it, but also be open to what others are saying so you can have a broader big picture. If something needs changing, your instincts will tell you.

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