2013-12-27 / Columnists

Slice Of Life

Masters Of Oblivion
by Beth Hanning

As the Christmas season winds down and we get ready to ring in the New Year with our resolutions, I have a few questions for my readers. These questions also may prompt a few people to make a New Year’s Resolution.

People ask me how I come up with ideas each week for the column. In Rockaway it is quite easy because Rockaway people are very opinionated and everywhere I go Rockawayites say, “You should write about this,” and “This better be in your column.”

This past week my friend arrived at a holiday party very agitated. She began the conversation with, “You know what you should write about? Things husbands ask their wives.” I did what I always do; I took out my phone and opened up the note section because I knew this would be pure gold.

My friend continued to tell me a list of things her husband has asked her in their marriage. The following is a list my friend told me and of course my husband inspired a few goodies, too.

1. While staring at a blown out light bulb, “Should I change that?”

2. While staring in the mirror, “Should I shave?”

3. While staring at the dishes either in the sink or the dishwasher, “Should I empty/fill up the dishwasher?”

4. While wearing a completely wrinkled shirt, “Does this need to be ironed?”

5. While dressing for a party that I am already dressed for, so the dress code is already established “What should I wear?” I always say: “Clothes, preferably pants and a shirt.”

6. On the night sanitation comes, “Should I put out the garbage?”

7. My all-time favorite goes back many years when my children were very young. For those of you who do not know me, I prided myself on how my girls appeared in public. Matching outfits were usually the norm and, if not, they were color coordinated. I like to think they always looked adorable. One night while at a relative’s house my youngest had chocolate all over her face and was enjoying herself when my husband asked in front of a room full of family and friends, “Have you bathed the kids this week?”

The issue is not only the questions they ask us, it is also the questions we have to ask them. Just this week I was trying to get out of the door to work trying to finish my morning routine, and my husband stood there and just watched me. He finally decided to go warm up the car. When I arrived to the car he asked me why I was annoyed. I asked him if he maybe could have made the lunches while I finished getting ready. The look on his face gave me the answer, No, he did not think to ask me if he could do part of the morning routine.

So my idea for many of the men in our lives: How about for your New Year’s Resolution try to make some executive decisions. I know it might be hard, but try to count to three before asking those already answered questions?

Happy New Year!

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