2013-12-27 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

Yule Tude Traditions
By Kevin Boyle

Tree lighting, gift giving, decking the halls with boughs of holly and donning gay apparel are all fine traditions that carry on year after year from sea to shining sea. Songs and poems are dedicated to these familiar traditions. Yet there’s one tradition more common than hanging a stocking and it never gets a jingle. It’s the holiday ‘tude.

Someone at some point is gonna catch a tude. As in baaaaaad attitude. It might be a crying kid locking himself in the bathroom. The whole excitement and anticipation of the holidays is too much for some kids until they burst. Other times it’s just sibling stuff and one kid just has to egg on another until there’s a blowup.

Adults rarely lock themselves in the bathroom but some can throw serious tudes, year after year. Some are just kinda funny. There are those who people can’t hide the fact that they’re disappointed in the gift they’ve just received. Their enthusiasm translates to “Oh...nice...” And then it’s on.

The gift giver picks up on the ingratitude and cops a tude. They don’t want to hear: “No, I really like it.” It’s too late and it’s BS. The gift giver gets a tude because the ingrate showed disappointment and then lied about how they really like it.

Tudes are as traditional as turkey. Some you can see coming like Rudolph’s nose. Other ones just pop up. Tudes are often born over whose house you’ll be visiting.

We went there last year, someone will moan. It was two years ago, so shut up. In that exchange you might have a double tude. And a third person could get in on it by becoming mad at both for their snide remarks. Once a triple tude is established things can get hairy. Before you know it, things look like they might move from Christmas to the Fourth of July.

Tudes are caught when someone doesn’t like this year’s tree or the tinsel isn’t hung nicely enough. There’s a whole minefield around things that fall short of somebody’s idea of perfection. It could be anything. Who’s cooking what, who’s bringing this dish, who’s riding in what car.

Yep, tudes are as traditional as the yule log. So here’s the holiday wish: May all the tudes be short and soon forgotten.

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