2013-12-06 / Columnists

Broad Channel Bits

By Dan Guarino

I’m insulted.

You tell me, Broad Channel, if you’re insulted too.

Two weeks ago I was in Far Rockaway, covering a story for The Wave. A brand new computer lab was opening at the not-for-profit Rockaway Development and Revitalization Corporation. It was built and paid for by Time Warner Cable, my former employers.

While I was doing that, my car was being towed out of the huge parking lot off Mott Avenue. This has about four stores in it.

When I lived in Far Rock, about 32 years ago, it had about seven stores.

I called B&M Towing, company on the sign I clearly didn’t see when I parked there and located my car. It was already sitting in their lot in Arverne.

Now was I in the area, in the business district in downtown Far Rockaway on community business? Yes. Was I in the wrong in parking in that lot? Yes.

Did I walk past that sign, see it, flip it off and deliberately park there anyway? Of course not.

Eventually I hitched a ride with the tow truck driver (bringing back yet another car). I paid out $130 and got my car back.

Still, something didn’t sit right with me. It bothered me all night.

Next day I rang up the towing company. Spoke to the owner.

Plain and simple, I said, “I did not ask this flat out yesterday, so I will ask it now. Will you reverse the towing fee?”

Boom. I got a whole argument and lecture about how “you are not above the law,” city ordinance, and “any judge would uphold this,” which wound up with “you can’t fight the Mayor!”

Now, I may not have been born here, but I know full well Broad Channel’s history of doing just that, of fighting City Hall again and again for its very existence, and winning.

So I said proudly, “Well, I’m from Broad Channel and I’ll fight anybody!”

“Oh, you’re from Broad Channel,” he said? “Why don’t you come down and we’ll talk about it. Just make sure you’re not dragging any firemen on your back bumper.”

In case you missed it, this was a not subtle reference to a certain Labor Day parade float from 1998.

Hey, I’ve been insulted, by pros, literally hundreds of thousands of times in my professional life. This included threats to “shoot you in the face,” “blow up your building” and just plain “come down there and teach you a lesson.” My answer? “You can try.”

I’m still standing.

Years ago, as a security guard, I got shot at on the job. It was ... annoying.

So you’re looking to insult me? Good luck.

But if you’re looking to insult Broad Channel, that’s a different story. That’s crossing a big line. So tell me, BC, do you feel insulted?

Oh, for the record, I got $40 back on that fee, in cash, in an envelope.

* * * * *

Other news: Don’t forget! Drop by The Broad Channel Crafters and American Legion Auxiliary’s Annual Craft and Christmas Gift Sale on Friday, December 6th from 6 to 9 p.m. and Saturday, December 7th from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. at the Legion Hall (209 Cross Bay Boulevard).

There’ll be crafts, unique items, jewelry, ornaments, baked goods, decorations, raffles and more. Lunch, refreshments and beverages will also be on sale.

All proceeds go to the Broad Channel American Legion Rebuilding Fund.

St. Virgilius’ Monday to Thursday Masses will be celebrated at 8 a.m. in St. Virgilius Convent at 210 Noel Road.

On Monday, December 9th, Sister Ave Clark, a great speaker, will offer an Advent Brunch -- "Bethlehem Journey" in St. Camillus Church at 9 a.m.

Later on Monday, Sister Barbara O'Dea will offer an Advent Evening of Prayer -- "Celebrating Advent" in St. Virgilius Church at 7 p.m.

The Queens Memory Project will be in town on Monday December 9th and 16th from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. They’ll be at the BC library, ready to record your memories of the Channel and other places, scan your photos and documents, photograph your memorabilia and make it all a part of history.

They’ll also be at the Seaside Library on Monday December 23rd and 30th, same hours.

Thanks for asking, but it turns out, contrary to an earlier press release, that our BC library does not have those Google Chrome tablets yet. Will let you know as soon as they do. There’ll be no formal classes, but your library card will let you borrow a tablet.

The Rockaway Theatre Company is presenting the comedy “Inspecting Carol” and invited a few special guest performers for a surprise part in each show. Yours truly will be doing the Sunday, December 8th, 3 p.m. show.

Check www.rockawaytheatrecompany.org for more info on show times, but get your tickets now and enjoy this show.

Note: I have been reliably informed that the droppings we have been stepping around correctly comes from the “Canada Goose,” (Branta Canadensis) not ‘Canadian’ geese. So far though, I can’t find anything to confirm they were actually named after a guy named John Canada.

Why wait to knock off your holiday shopping? Broad Channel Historical Society calendars are on sale now! Stop in at Rock N Roll Bagels, All American Channel Market and other BC stores. Or pick one up at a BC Civic Association Meeting or from a Historical Committee member.

At $5 each you can get your whole list done, then sit back and smell the cocoa and marshmallows!

Nice to get a shout out at church on Thanksgiving. Apparently Father Richie really liked the line in the last column that read “Families are invited to bring something that will be used at their Thanksgiving family meal to be blessed. (I do not believe the television remote counts.)”

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. All in all, we have a lot to be thankful for.

Got BC news? Upcoming events? Organization announcements? Email them to me at workingstories@aol.com.

Thanks for reading!

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