2013-11-08 / Letters

Agony of de Feces

Dear Editor:

To the dog owners who walk their dogs under the el along Rockaway Freeway between Beach 87th Street and Beach 94th Street:

I wanted to thank you all for the incredible dog feces garden that has been so diligently cultivated under the train. Every time I walk along there I can’t wait to see what new pile of dog crap I will find amongst all of the older dog crap. It’s truly like Christmas morning every day walking along there and discovering what new gift you all have left your neighbors and me.

One might say that after having our neighborhood ravaged by an act of god we would try and make our neighborhood better, cleaner, dare I say, classier. But let’s get real, why in the world would we put in that kind of effort? Where do we think we are? The Hamptons? Hahaha! We love walking around looking at, smelling and stepping in dog crap. This is Rockaway for goodness sakes and we take pride in our neighborhood looking like crap – literally.

I mean, I understand the hardship of carrying a small plastic bag around to then have to bend over and pick up dog feces! It is outrageous that anyone would expect someone to carry out such a physically and mentally difficult task. And yes, your argument that “everyone” does it truly absolves you of any responsibility and makes it A- Okay.

So, keep up the good work guys! And if you would like to respond to me and let me know who you are so I can thank you personally feel free to reach out to me. Make sure you give your address so I can return the favor by leaving a huge crap on your front doorstep.


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