2013-08-23 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

They Say They’re Built For The Beach
By Kevin Boyle

Never let it be said we’re not nice to mayoral candidates. John Catsimatidis can not only buy 10 lifeguard stations without breaking a sweat it now looks like he could jump over one.

At a recent mayoral forum held just outside a $4 million dollar lifeguard shack the candidates posed and took turns kicking sand at each other. Christine Quinn was wearing her Jersey Shore bathing suit and showing off her mom tattoo and Anthony Weiner said he felt overdressed.

Bill De Blasio was showing off his abs but just didn’t seem all that at home on the beach. George McDonald said, who you calling Grandpa? John Liu looked most like a surfer and William Thompson was doing some kind of Green Bay Packer Aaron Rogers thing. Sal Albanese was just happy to be invited. Joe Lhota, looking good in board shorts, said he blasted through the Cross Bay toll without paying. Then with a smirk he said, “Bite me, Cuomo.”

Although the candidates differed on many issues, they all had the same message for Rockaway voters:

Don’t believe your own eyes and ears, this is what we really look like. Really.

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