2013-07-12 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

Boycotts R Us
By Kevin Boyle

How long ago could you get a slice of pizza for $1.50? Ten years? I guess it’s been at least that long since I’ve been boycotting Plum Tomatoes on Beach 129th. Some people boycott them because they don’t support local teams or do much for charitable causes. I boycott them because they charged me a $1.62 for a slice back when a buck fifty was what a slice cost. They had the nerve to charge tax on a slice. Gimme a break. Charge me a $1.75 but don’t give me this $1.62 baloney. Who’s serving the slice, a guy named Vinny or an IRS agent? They gave me the receipt, too. How nice. Well, keep your receipt, keep your slice. All these years later I’ve been able to stick to my principles and haven’t had a slice of Plum since. Of course, I’m very weak willed. If I actually liked their pizza I might’ve caved. A dollar sixty two. What kind of BS is that?

Lots of other people boycott places or hold deep personal grudges against them. A nasty cashier is enough for some people to swear off a place forever. You can probably think of a few Soup Nazis around here. The people behind the counter at the Job- Lot dollar store on Beach 116th must have advanced degrees in rudeness. At least I think it’s rudeness because whatever they’re mumbling isn’t understandable English. Cashiers, waiters and waitresses, other customers. long lines, arrogance, anything could start a boycott. Some of you are reading this with a flashlight hoping no one finds out – because you’re supposed to be boycotting The Wave.

Boycotts are tough when you simply have no other options. You gotta have what that bastard is selling. I know two people who’ve nearly gone insane because an ice cream store didn’t have hot fudge. They’ve stormed out; they’ve written to the heads of the companies. They don’t want chocolate syrup. They want hot fudge, dammit. And there’s a big friggin difference. And they’re tired of going into the store to be told the machine is broken. They’d like nothing more to boycott but they’ve got nowhere else to turn. Here’s to competition. Boycotting should be easy. Sticking to your principles is too hard.

All I can say is if you haven’t boycotted something, you need to go out more. And if you’re not boycotting something today, it won’t be long.

Boyleing Points: So I had to check out the Playland Motel on Beach 98th and RBB – I had a fish sandwich that was so good I am buying a fedora and growing a Lincoln beard so I fit in better but safe to say, I’ll be back.

**William Edwards aka William William aka Wiseman of the Alamo sent word that he was worried about me because this column stinks lately. And I get the news via a text message. Ya believe it? I’d like to tell him off, but I’m boycotting him.

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