2013-07-05 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

You are the creator of your own happiness. Yes, things happen to us from people and places we love, or hate and did not expect, but ultimately, it is how we react that determines our feeling of happiness. If we live with high expectations all the time, we will likely suffer our own feelings of loss or doubts if we do not get what we want. If we are perfectionists, we will constantly be hyper-vigilant to be certain that we don’t make mistakes. We may not try out new things because we may feel like we will look stupid. If we feel we are too proud to ask for help when we need it, we may suffer when we can’t do something alone, but can’t ask another.

The first thing to ask yourself is what makes me happy? Is your answer coming from your authentic desires or is it ego-driven to make yourself feel superior? When we are at peace, we can probably feel connected to our inner voice. If you are alone, for example, and want the lifestyle of living with someone, it is probably a good idea to pursue that plan, by maybe checking out computer dating, etc. We release outcomes, but know what it is that we are looking for.

After you have your idea of what you want, then see if there are steps to be taken to get there. Once those steps are taken, we then release outcomes, and live in each present moment seeing what we feel as we experience life. Maybe new twists will lead you to believe that your original thoughts need modification. Perhaps it will strengthen your resolve in what you believe is right for you.

When the outcomes are released and life is experienced a breath at a time, we can relax into happiness. We have done what is necessary, we have faith that whatever happens will bring us to a good place, or we will know what has to be changed. Staying in the present moment and relaxing into it can bring happiness and peace. By living as close as possible to what we want in life, we can allow happiness to be created within. The happiness is in the journey as the outcomes take time to reveal themselves or may not even be what we thought in the first place. This very moment is what is important.

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