2013-06-14 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

By Kevin Boyle

Kids lie. The reason that’s not on the front page is because it’s not news. Of course, it would be news to some parents. Some parents don’t know their kids lie or won’t admit it. According to Facebook, their kids are perfect, I’m told (repeatedly).

But for those of us with kids with skin, we know they can’t help themselves and they’re just lying machines. It’s epic and endless. They lie even when they don’t have to.

Did you brush your teeth? Yeah. Then why is the sink dry? Why is the toothbrush in the same spot you left it yesterday? I dunno. Well, because you didn’t brush your teeth. I did to. No, you didn’t. Then some gutteral sound that you can’t spell comes out of their mouth. Brush, you order. They relent and go brush.

You shake your head. Was that whole exchange necessary? The kids must think so because they’re willing to go through it again and again about homework or any chore or responsibility. Did you take out the trash? Yeah. Your thought: Here we go again.

They get more devious, of course. Where you going? Out.

Where’s out? Out. Who were you out with? People. What did you do last night? Nothing.

You can’t get a straight answer (not that you always want one). It’s just a constant battle of trying to figure out some of the truth and when you really need to know the truth. It’s endless. Kids mislead and evade and tell you one thing and then another. You love them anyway. And sooner or later the kids become young adults and stop lying reflexively.

And that’s the difference between kids and FEMA. FEMA is a lying machine that can’t help itself. It never grows up and you never love it. You should trust FEMA like you trust a teenager who just told you he spent Friday night helping little old ladies cross the street.

Boyleing Points: You know the Bowery was synonymous with skid row, a place with an abandoned movie theater and run down hotels or flophouses, a place where bums outnumbered manhole covers seven to one. Now it’s real estate gold. Beach 116th Street, a poor man’s Bowery, is going to have a similar turnaround. The new merchants association and efforts by the City’s Small Business Services agency point to a new day. Seriously. So please, support the stores on its upward climb.

**Speaking of turnarounds, rumor is Gateway National Recreation Area is getting a new boss who – encouragingly – does not come from the Park Service. Riis Park might have a second life. Good thing the flood maps bum me out so much – all this good news would be tough to take.

**Gotta hand it to Congressman Meeks – holding a meeting in the church at St. Francis was savvy – it cut down on a lot of cursing that would’ve headed his way.

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