2013-02-01 / Columnists

Boyleing Points

By Kevin Boyle

I don’t know what it says about Rockaway but apparently there’s more crap out there than I thought.

After last week’s column about crap – I can’t tell you how many people confessed to having saved Members Only jackets, tennis rackets with missing strings, and Lego sets with half the pieces missing. Someone else had bed frames in the basement but no beds. Somebody else told me they had saved a photo album from the house’s previous owner. Since they bought the house through an estate they never knew the owner. But they felt bad about throwing out a dead person’s photos so they hung onto it until it was waterlogged thanks to that little storm. I’m sure the dead person appreciated their efforts.

Another junk addict said he had no plans to toss stuff. His plan – make more use of his attic. Crap belongs upstairs, not downstairs, I guess.

Teresa George made my day with a phone call to the Wave about how much she enjoyed the column and Coleen Maineri made me laugh when she told her story about her husband, Guy, who passed away a few years back. He’d been a sanitation man and had filled the garage with, uhm, treasure that he’d found along his route through the years. Potential antiques, so to speak. It stayed crammed in the garage until Sandy. In the days that followed, Coleen used the opportunity to toss the mountain of crap to the curb. Later, she went out for a drive and when she returned a Sanitation crew was finishing filling their truck. A neighbor had explained to the crew that the junk was the personal stash of a deceased sanit man. The eyes of the crew widened. And one of the guys said, No wonder the stuff kept trying to jump back out of the truck. That wasn’t crap!

Of course, the real issue now is what will become of garage sales this spring and summer? Will they even happen? I mean who’s got any crap left? And after tossing out all your crap are you really going to buy somebody else’s now? A couple of people have held garage sales every week. What are they gonna do? Import crap?

Maybe the sales won’t happen at all. I mean, selling stuff with water lines could be tough. People are gonna wonder if mold travels. No garage sales? What will people do? Well, this is Rockaway, maybe they’ll just have pop-up nail salons every weekend.

** Boyleing Points. Brian Williams of NBC TV was a guest of the Graybeards at their annual dinner dance. When the lights flashed to let people know the cocktail hour was over and it was time to move to the main room, Williams and his wife immediately started towards the main area. Relax, they were told. See how no one else is moving? This is a Rockaway crowd. It’s called the cocktail hour and a half.

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