2012-08-24 / Entertainment/Lifestyles


‘The Dark Knight’ — Batty
By Robert Snyder

In H.G. Wells’ sci-fi novel, “The Time Machine,” the passive flower-people of the future are programmed to go into ominous edifices whenever they hear a signal from a siren. It is the cannibal Morlocks herding them for their dinner.

Today, we humans must go the midnight shows of every “much-anticipated” movie. It happened at the doomed midnight opening of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Aurora, Colorado, where an apparent “Joker” impersonator gunned down theatergoers, killing 12, wounding 58. Among the audience members were a 4- month-old baby, a six-year-old girl and a woman in her ninth month of pregnancy.

While it now seems almost irrelevant, the question is ... is the “much-anticipated “Batman” movie any good?

Tragically, the answer is ... no.

At 2 hours and 45 minutes, it’s a big Batman bore. In fact, the Dark Knight himself makes few appearances.

After his last bout with The Joker (the late Heath Ledger), he’s limping around as non-superhero billionaire

Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), who’s become a depressed Howard Hughes-like recluse.

However, evil is afoot in the form of this Wrestlemania muscleman called, “Bane (Tom Hardy)”. Bane has this uncomfortably-constricting contraption on his head, making his face unidentifiable and his voice incomprehensible.

Unfortunate, because he makes a lot of speeches, rallying his anarchical army, which includes Occupy Wall Streeters and terrorists, to blow up Gotham bridges and tunnels to hold its denizens hostages.

A couple of love/hate interests are thrown in for Wayne/Batman: the mysterious rich-woman Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard) and Catwoman Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway), who later seems more like Batwoman on the Bat-motorcycle.

Directed by the ever-serious Christopher Nolan, “The Dark Knight Rises” is supposed to be the end of the Bale-Nolan Bat-trilogy.

But, Holy Franchise! As the closing titles roll, that doesn’t appear to be the case. Is there no end to this midnight?

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