2012-08-10 / Entertainment/Lifestyles

Movie Scope

‘Ted’ – Bearly Legal
By Robert Snyder

“Ted” is the perfect movie for preteen boys.

At least, that’s what a group of them thought as they convulsed with laughter at a recent screening. The problem is that because “Ted” is R-rated, the boys shouldn’t have been allowed in the theater.

But there they were without a parent or guardian in sight. Which was fine by them.

“Ted” is about a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking Teddy Bear. He also likes sex orgies and cocaine. He’s the BBF to John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), maybe his only friend, other than Lori (Mila Kunis), who wants to marry John. Why? John is a 35-year-old underachieving stoner, who is devoted to his childhood Teddy Bear, now pottymouthed and magical. If the preteens had their way, the romantic stuff would be on the cutting room floor. Their interest dramatically dissipated whenever John and Lori got all serious.

What-could-be-called the plot involves John’s big decision: Lori or Ted. Also, Ted stalker (Giovanni Ribisi) and his weird young son (Aedin Mincks) are on hand to add some nonsensical screen time.

The brainchild of writer-director Seth MacFarlane (creator of Fox’s “Family Guy”), “Ted” is a one-joke comedy … one long, one-hour-and-46-minute joke. While the special-effects “Teddy” is a marvel, the flatulence humor becomes a bit sour. You wish the obnoxious drunk would leave the room …even if he is an animated stuffed animal. Unless, of course, you’re under 13-years-of-age and with a bunch of your buddies, “bearly” legal at an Rrated movie.

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