2012-03-02 / Columnists

School Scope

A Little Satire On The School Scene
Norman Scott
Commentary By Norman Scott

The Obama administration, recognizing the success of RTTT in education, especially with the enormously popular publication of teacher data reports in NYC, has decided to institute a version for the airline industry.

An admin spokesperson said the idea of Race To The Top was a perfectly named program for an industry which races to the top with every flight. “Given that the pilot is the most important factor in a successful airplane flight, we think it crucial to find out who are the good and bad pilots,” said Arne Duncan, who has been put in charge of all Race to the Top programs which will be applied to many other areas of industry. Merit pay will be given to the top pilots as an incentive to fly better.

“Arne has been chosen because he is so tall,” said the spokesperson. “Get it

— Race to the TOP —- tall, top — we can be so clever.”

In this extension of RTTT, the Obama administration is reaffirming its belief in choice as has been applied to the public school system. In its “Choose your pilot” program, upon arrival at the airport passengers will be allowed to look up their pilot’s rating and if not satisfied switch to any other flight with a pilot that has a rating more to their liking.

The spokesperson said, “The public has a right to know whether a pilot is Highly Effective, Effective, Developing, Ineffective, or in the lowest category: Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.” A pilot rated in the latter category will be given time to improve while all passengers on flights flown by these pilots will be given double insurance at a discount.

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