2011-04-01 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

Sometimes when we look back at our lives, we get angry at ourselves for being ignorant or unkind because we were not able to see what we can now understand. If we did not allow another person to be himself but instead kept telling him what to do and it didn’t help anyway, it can be very frustrating and we can feel out of control.

The point is you have to acknowledge that everyone has his own right to do what he must, and we have to respect that. The key is to let go of any bad feelings we have about ourselves in the past, because at that moment we were doing what we thought was best. If in another case we feel idiotic because we allowed someone to take advantage of us, and now feel foolish, the key is to recognized how much we have learned, and let go of any bad feelings towards ourselves. If we regret what we have done, we can also say that we have learned from that experience.

We do not have to be perfect in everyway everyday. We have to be open and aware that each day brings the potential for new growth and insight through life’s experiences. We may set goals that we are having difficulty in accomplishing, and then want to abandon them completely. The key is to recognize that we are making progress and moving in the right direction. Small steps still get us to where we want to be. So it is important to take the negative pressure off ourselves of what we should have or could have done, but rather to see the positive of how much better off we are now that we have new insights about life and how to be. We may be inching towards our goals, but it is so much better than where we were in the first place. We can see the accomplishment rather than the lack of perfection in ourselves.

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