2011-01-28 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points

by Kevin Boyle

Can I curse and swear in this space? Cause I’d really like to go all blankety blank on the morons who don’t take the snow off their cars before driving. Some woman, I could just make out her face, looked like a peeping tom as she peeked through a snow hole on her windshield as she drove down Newport Avenue. This blankety genius was dropping off her kid(s) at school. Of course, she was just one among the multitude of @#%$! morons who think their vehicles are moving igloos.

The same friggin morons get on the highway oblivious to the fact that bleepin snow and ice bombs fly off the roofs of their cars towards the windshields of other cars. Some of these blankety blank lazy pieces of slush don’t even scrape the frost off their side windows. Which means – worst of all —- they can’t even see you giving them the finger.

Oh, well, I guess there goes my New Year’s resolution of being happy and peppy and bursting with love. And I was off to a good start. I was in Brown’s Hardware when the always helpful (and scarily knowledgeable) Noni asked a customer “How are you?” and he responded, “Extraordinarily well, thanks.” And she said, “Fab-ulous.” The good vibe was earth shaking and I decided to spread the same the good cheer the rest of the year.

And it was easy because good stuff kept coming my way. I went to the Harbour Cleaners on Beach 129 to pick up my once-a-year suit that was being cleaned. And I made a profit. The good folks in there handed me my suit and the $52 I left in there a year ago. Fifty two bucks. Nice. Talk about honesty. I’m always finding a dollar or two in my own dryer but this was a windfall. I’m giving them all my clothes from now on, even my socks.

Of course, I don’t know what the bigger miracle was, getting back the $52 or finding a parking spot on 129.

By the way, right across the street, Joy and the Belle Harbor Food family are always nice. I’ve gone in there and put stuff on the counter only to realize I’ve forgotten my money (or left it in a suit). They’ve let me take home the stuff and come back with the money later in the day. Ya gotta love ‘em.

On my recent stop I found cheeriness up and down the block. The bank people, the guys in Currans, Len of Video Waves, the Belle Harbor Pharmacy, and Bulloch’s. I felt like George Bailey from It’s A Wonderful Life saying hello to everybody on Main Street while a light snow fell. It was great to feel so out of character.

But then the snow fell harder…and harder...and it started accumulating on cars...and pretty soon I was like Howard Beale from Network screaming I’m Mad As Hell And Can’t Take It Anymore. Take the snow off your bleepin cars you $%$#! idiots!!

That felt good. Kumbaya. ***Boyle-ing Points. Miss the summer? Check out Shadows of the Same Sun – a fascinating rockumentary of about the long established surfing community here in Rockaway. It’s a cool look at where surfing was and where it is. How can you not enjoy the fact that the early pioneers used ironing boards to ride waves? I believe you can pick up the DVD at Boarders. Google it, youtube it. ***You’ve probably heard that there are new zodiac signs. Aquarians are Capricorns or vice versa and Virgos are Vegetarians or whatever. It might explain a lot of my confused life. All those years I read Playboy for the interviews and looked at Cosmo for the horoscopes. ***Congratulations to Steve Stathis as he is honored at the annual Graybeard Dinner Dance Saturday night. If you ask just about anyone in Rockaway what they love most about living here the same answer is often heard: the people. Funny, supportive, kind, tough, willing, ready, and able. Steve Stathis is all those things and more. Steve’s about the best representation of “the people” you could find. Please continue to support Steve and The Graybeards.)

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