2010-10-08 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points

Schlock To The Rock
Commentary By Kevin Boyle

Hey people! Oops, I didn’t mean to say that. Hey people! was the trademark opening of The G Man, another former columnist of The Wave. Sorry, but I’ve been confused ever since The Wave printed my byline as Kelvin a couple weeks back.

Of course, I suspect The Wave was just being clever. Kelvin is some kind of unit of temperature and since this column is called Boyle-ing Points I have to congratulate the editors on their creative typo. Kelvin. Hehe, good one. At least they didn’t call me Lance D. (as in Lance D. Boyle).

Which reminds me of another typo. You know the thing about a typo in a newspaper is that once it’s in, there’s nothing to do about it. What about a dollar store that has a hand written sign on corrugated cardboard that announces its “Srand Opening.” Srand? The place is called “Beach.” So is “Srand Opening” like a combination of Grand and Sand? What the …. Tell ya the truth, before I noticed the sign I saw them flying little flags or pennants and figured it was a used car lot. But then I saw the windows crammed with toilet paper and shampoo and realized it was just another Collier’s Mansion.

You know the old line Coals to New Castle or selling ice in the winter – sayings for pointless endeavors. Well, the arrival of another dollar store? That’s called Schlock to the Rock.

But what do I know, there was a defense of dollar stores in the Bag of Mail last week. What are you gonna do? Some people think the Lawrence Hotel has character and should be landmarked. Now you can call me elitist – or Kelvin – but enough already with dollar stores. What we need are more nail salons and pharmacies.

**Boyle-ing Points: Still waiting to see the first Anthony Weiner sign on somebody’s lawn. Bob Turner seems to be the only guy running for Congress. And Harold Paez, for Assembly, has his share of turf as well. He’s got more signage than realtor Robin Shapiro.

**Have you heard about The Schweiner Panel — no, not from Wayne’s World – it’s the “blue ribbon” panel Weiner and Chuck Schumer have formed. They’re looking for recommendations on possible improvements to Floyd Bennett Field. It’s not been made clear if they plan to include Fort Tilden and Riis Park but I gotta ask something of Chuck and Tony, our Fed reps who should help steer federal money to our parks. Do we need a blue ribbon panel to clean up and repair the seawall and path between the Marine Park Bridge and approximately Beach 149 Street? That’s National Park Service property and it’s also the first and last thing you see when entering or leaving the peninsula. You know that sign that says “Welcome to the Rockaways” – Maybe we should add: Don’t mind the holes in the sea wall fencing, the knee high grass, the ancient park benches without seats, and the litter almost as high as the grass. Rockaway’s a diamond in the rough!

Oh, and if you attempt to walk or bike on the path that runs parallel to the falling down sea wall, watch out, you might fall into a hole big enough to hold Schumer’s campaign cash.

I’ve sent pictures to the US Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. Really. Because I have too much free time. Maybe he can see from Washington what the Schweiners haven’t noticed. The sorry state of Riis Park and Fort Tilden is for another column – not that I’m promising another column.

*** By the way, I’m not just a grouch and griper. Have you seen the decorative concrete they’ve installed on stretches of the boardwalk? (Beach 80 to Breach 70 and again in the Beach 40s). It’s just great. It’s smooth with a wood-finish look to it. Kudos to all who got this done. Of course, being a glass three-quarters empty kind of guy I worry that they’ll just stop now and let the more heavily used part of the boardwalk continue to fall apart. But so far so good!

***You can’t tell a book by its cover. And by its reputation I’m not even sure if Beach Channel High School has books – but the building’s new brick work is a vast improvement over the nasty brown stuff that used to fit too well with the sewer treatment across the street.

***Hope you caught The Bungalows of Rockaway, the documentary shown on PBS. Part history, part David versus Goliath tale, part travelogue. Wholly inspirational. The locals who appeared deserve a standing O. Missed it? Go online and Google.

***The Grayriders, the musical offshoot of the Graybeards, proved ready and then some for the big stage as they opened for Eddie Money last week at Aviator. It was a great night made all the better by the impressive Rockaway turnout. And the outdoor stage and picnic area make this a terrific venue and option for the entertainment starved. Here’s hoping Aviator keeps the good times coming. Uh oh, one of those Boyle-ing dark clouds just appeared over my head: In an attempt to “improve” Floyd Bennett, the Blue Ribbon panel won’t kill this, will they?

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