2010-08-20 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

One thing that is constant is change. As we age, our personal perspective on things keeps changing. We realize something as a new idea, and then adjust our vision. We know that we interpret events through our own value system, but it is a flow of ideas based on our experiences. We experience so many different things along the way of life. Recently someone asked me to write about when rudeness is acceptable. I think each of us would agree on some ideas, but also have our own thoughts about different behaviors.

We sometimes believe that what is happening to us is unique. This must be unusual because I feel it so strongly. How could this have happened before? Some logic within says, this is crazy, this couldn’t have occurred anywhere else, but most of the time it is not so. How many people even know about the TWA flight that went down on the east end of Long Island several years ago? It will be the same with all the events that are occurring today. Our whole lives are truly a blink of the eye from a larger perspective. What happens in one place in the world can be so different from another part at the same time too.

People are being slaughtered in Africa while others are worrying about their house renovations in America, for example.

Life is so important for each of us in the small segment that we live, but in the larger scope of things, it becomes a cycle of birth, living, and then moving out of this plane or leaving the Earth. How we live and the choices we make are combined with other people’s points of view, too. What people focus on, what is important shifts from person to person and certainly from culture to culture. We must always remember that what we choose or hope for is our personal script that is similar to the ones others create with their own belief systems. We love being the center of attention in our children’s worlds, and we can feel the shift when they grow up and find other people in their lives more important. I watch how my granddaughter loves her mom and dad and as a grandparent, I come next. Again, I remember this when my children grew up. It doesn’t mean that we don’t feel the change on an emotional level. We feel it all the time when we recognize that we are now in a different stage of life. For a working person, retirement means different things to different people. Shifts, emotions, refocusing happen all the time.

So while we are living, we can take ourselves a little less seriously.

Our mistakes can be corrected, our lives are not perfect, and we must laugh at ourselves. We can let go of the need to control others, like our children when they grow up, since it is part of the life cycle anyway. In the scope of eternity, this lifetime is a quick flash.

Let’s make the most of it.

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