2010-05-28 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

It is so uncomfortable for us when life is out of our control. People have different ways of looking at things and each person has a sense of timing. Life carries us along at its own pace. We can’t always control the events that must be acted upon. There are times when we are bombarded with so much to do or deal with and other moments when we have nothing eventful happening. In life, we get different kinds of opportunities- the need to push forward or the need to be still and enjoy the quiet.

Some of us may feel more comfortable with different approaches. We may be flexible, but usually we are happy if we are getting what we want when we want it. Some of us are procrastinators while others are workaholics. It may be easier to wait for something to happen than to do what I have to do right now. There are some people who need to have the adrenaline rush of everything being constantly in crisis, and they may continue to create situations so that they can feel alive, but that is something they need to keep going. It is good to recognize how we ourselves live through the flow of life. Do we avoid action or do we stir the pot? With this information, we can then be aware of our behavior in life’s important moments. We may consciously or intuitively know that we should be acting in a certain manner, but our insecurities may prevent us from following our instincts.

If we are aware that we are different in our sense of timing from other people, it may help us have more understanding or patience for others.

It will also help us overcome our own anxiety in waiting for a response, accepting other’s behavior or choices or doing what we know is right even if we feel a little fearful.

Sometimes we just have to create new habits or patterns of doing what is uncomfortable initially, but ultimately can become the new normal.

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