2010-04-30 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

As we age, our personal perspective on things keeps changing. We realize something, and then adjust our vision. We know that we interpret events through our own value system, but it is not a constant.

We experience so many different things along the way of life. Who would have thought a volcano would erupt in Iceland and disrupt so many people’s lives?

We often believe that what is happening to us is unique. This must be unusual because I feel it so strongly. Could this have happened before? Some logic within says, this is crazy, this couldn’t have occurred anywhere else, but most of the time it is not so. I recently read about a terrible tragedy in NY 100 years ago or so in which a boat was destroyed and more than 1,000 people were killed. I never heard of it before. It will be the same with all the events that are occurring today.

Our whole lives are truly a blink of the eye from a larger perspective. What happens in once place in the world can be so different from anther place at the same time too.

People like Humphrey Bogart or Katherine Hepburn for example, are unknown to my grandchild. She has a young girl’s picture on a poster hanging up on her wall who I do not recognize. Life is so important for the small segment that we live, but in the larger scope of things, it becomes a cycle of birth, living, and then moving out of this plane or leaving the Earth. How we live and the choices we make are combined with other people’s points of view too. What people focus on, what is important shifts from person to person and certainly from culture to culture. We must always remember that what we choose or hope for is our personal script that is similar to the ones others create with their own belief systems. We love being the center of attention in our children’s worlds, and we can feel the shift when they grow up and find other people in their lives more important. It is as it was intended. I watch how my granddaughter loves her mom and dad and as a grandparent, I come next. Again, I remember this when my children grew up. It doesn’t mean that we don’t feel the change on an emotional level. We feel it all the time when we recognize that we are now in a different stage of life. Shifts, emotions, refocusing happen all the time.

So while we are living, we can take ourselves a little less seriously.

Our mistakes can be corrected, our lives are not perfect, and we must laugh at ourselves. We can let go of the need to control others, like our children when they grow up, since it is part of the life cycle anyway. In the scope of eternity, this lifetime is a quick flash.

Let’s make the most of it.

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