Nothing To Fear But Palin Herself
Last week at the First National Tea Party Convention in Nashville, Tennessee Palin tossed red meat to a red crowd. She took the stage at an illustrious gathering that had the night before applauded one speaker’s suggestion that literacy tests at the polls—which had been used for a century to disenfranchise blacks—be reinstated. She said we needed a president who would prosecute the war on terror like “a commander-in-chief and not a professor of law,” and declared that “the Tea Party movement is the future of politics.” Never mind the rule of law or the Tea Party’s racist, hypocritical supporters. Of course, Palin needed some help to make such meaningful commentary. Obama likes the teleprompter but Palin likes to do things the old school way: writing sound bites down on her palm. If it worked on the fifth-grade spelling test why wouldn’t it work with the Tea Party?
After her elementary school recitation of GOP talking points to the tea baggers, Palin traipsed her way onto Fox News Sunday. In her ever-folksy and forever graceful mutilation of the English language, the ex-Governor told host Chris Wallace that “it would be absurd to not consider what it is that [she] can potentially do to help our country,” in reference to a possible presidential bid.
It seems Palin has so much to offer, much more than that elitist Barack Obama. We don’t need a University of Chicago law professor to decide what treatment of detainees hews to the tenets of American jurisprudence. No, we need a hockey mom who thinks Africa is a country and who hates that darned Department of Law. Who else will keep those scary fake death panels away?
Obama’s no fun. We want a president who doesn’t know what the Bush Doctrine is, an average idiot from the street. Not a man who likes to transcend race. But a woman who stokes racial tensions and riles up crowds in the Florida panhandle to clamor for the assassination of the President. We want a commander-in-chief who doesn’t know where Iraq is on the map, who will smile, wink, and nod at you while sending soldiers to die in an unjust war there; a folksier, female version of Bush, because that turned out marvelously.
See the tea baggers are the future of the Republican Party; people who want tax cuts or death, a revolt with representation. And Palin is leading the way for a proud movement in American politics, the philosophical heir of the late, great Joseph McCarthy. Who knew that the embodiment of the unintelligent and untrue blather that poisons the American political scene and paralyzes this country could be so sexy? Can anyone say “Palin 2012, Guns, God, and Grace.”