2009-11-13 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

So much of the time our feelings of balance ride up and down depending on how someone else we value treats us.

If the person is angry or nasty, we may feel unloved or doubt ourselves.

If the person treats us well, we will feel just fine.

The key is to be able to separate our own inner self from the opinions that others have of us.

If we know that what we are doing is what's right for ourselves, then we can push aside the energy coming from someone else, and just continue feeling safe.

We can visualize ourselves going in the flow of a river. We are cleansed and protected here and can continue going forward.

Another person may be on the side tributary of the river throwing debris or stones or roses at us.

If we need to, we can see a large screen go up which separates us from the stuff of others.

Their garbage stays on the other side of the grate, while we continue to flow straight.

The key is that we know we are doing what is right from our perspective.

If we feel guilty or angry, we may react in a way that is not in balance.

We can throw our own stuff into the tributary at the other person, or we may not have a grate and just allow the other person's opinion to come straight at us and take it in. Always watch your reactions, and as much as possible, don't act on impulse.

If you must do something, make sure it is a good response by waiting a little and considering your options.

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