Ice Cream Pusher
Is there an end to this?! Does it ever finish?! He comes up my block twice a day, every day, with that same stupid song! C'mon, you know the one I mean! We've all heard it! We've heard it blocks away! We know when he's coming! Enough already!! Please! Make him stop!!
Are people so ashamed of their addiction to ice cream that they need this guy to sneak up their block to slip them a fix? Does a mother with an overweight kid need another neighborhood pusher to shove more fat into her kid's mouth? Like she doesn't have enough to worry about?
OK, so a guy's got to make a living. Fine. Nobody's saying he can't. But, please, just not under my window every day, day and night!! It's driving me nuts!! That tune, that same stupid tune, over and over and over again!!!
And where are the zoning laws?! I thought there were zoning laws! Am I allowed to convert my house to a bodega? Can I ring a bell from my porch selling hot soup, pizza, sandwiches, twice a day, every day?! I don't think I can, do you?! I don't think my neighbors would be too happy about that! So how come this guy can set up his store on every street in the neighborhood, every day, twice a day?! For as long as he wants?!!
You know the one I mean; White truck? Happy face with pointy head? Funny spelling to the name? Lurks near schools when kids get out? Peddles frozen lard with sugar? Encourages gratuitous pleasure of no redeeming value? Promotes obesity, tooth decay, hyperactivity? Operates from April to November, day and night, rain or shine? Plays a tune, a single stupid tune, ad nauseam? C'mon, you know.
Please, Mr. Mayor, Congressman Meeks, Lou Simon, the Wave, aunt Bertha, uncle Joe, friends, neighbors, countrymen, somebody, anybody…do something! Anything!! Just make him stop! Make him go away! Please! I can't take it any more!