2009-09-04 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

When we feel we can't control a situation that concerns us, we may feel helpless or lost or in danger. We start to imagine a variety of endings that go from one extreme to another. It is hard to relax and just let the time unfold. While waiting, we can imagine the good and see ourselves in a good place.

If the good does not work out, we will deal with it then. Chances are we will not fall apart when the time comes. We may be disappointed, in pain or at our wits end, but again through time, we will deal with whatever comes our way.

We can remember that we are part of a big picture and there is a divine method to the madness. We can imagine ourselves or those we love in God's/Universe's hands. We can do activities to distract us, like finally cleaning out that closet or visiting some people we have been meaning to see. Watching movies or focusing elsewhere will make the time go by, but the thoughts have to be controlled when they pop in. We can say to ourselves, "No sense in scaring myself with unreal thoughts that I am just making up now.

I will wait and deal with the present moment each day."

We can remind ourselves that we have lived through tough situations before. We will get through this one also.

We can say "This too shall pass." We may have to get used to living a new way or without someone we love, but the joy and the beauty of the world can provide comfort.

It is important to remember that life teaches through experience, and that life is for living, not living in fear or confusion.

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