2008-10-17 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

It is very difficult to keep our own balance when the future is unknown, and we have to wait till we get all the information to make our decisions or next steps. Peace and patience sometimes go hand in hand.

If we are okay with waiting for something, then we can feel peaceful about it. But a lack of peace can be caused by a variety of reasons.

Sometimes a fear of the unknown doesn't permit us to have the patience that is necessary to allow events to unfold as they must. We may be waiting for a medical procedure or test results, or admission into college or a new job. Every minute can feel like an eternity. We want to know what will happen in the future, and we want to know it now.

Instead of this though, it is so much better to trust in the process, and have the patience to realize that if we can trust in God/Universe, then we can wait for things to happen. We can let go of fear, and think of other things that can help us cope. Sometimes things must be put into place or we must learn something first to get the right result.

The old expression "Be careful what you wish for" points out that more learning must be done to understand how all the pieces can fit together. With the trust in the process, comes the patience. We can't always see the end result until we go through the steps necessary first.

People often get impatient when others choose to do things their way for themselves. We may know it would be so much better to do it another way, and we lose patience as we allow others to do it a way that seems silly or harmful to us. Others have their reasons for choosing to do it their way. A compassionate person can have the patience to try to understand why it must be done the way the other chooses. Since it involves another's life, we have to let go, and try to see where he is coming from. We still may not agree, but with patience and openness we can accept it.

When our insecurities get triggered, it may cause a lack of patience as well. We feel something must be corrected before we can get back into balance. If I think I can't be beautiful until I have a face lift, I will walk around thinking I am ugly until I do this. Others may have no idea that I feel this way. Our insecurities play havoc with our patience. We just want our security back with the false thought that I am safe if I get what I want. Patience to see reality for what it is and then let life happen in steps takes strength. That requires patience. We can see how the world reacted to both creating and now dealing with the current financial crisis. People sold their stocks or bought stocks or listened or didn't listen to the pundits.

It is always good to have patience when needed. If our trust is there, the peace should follow.

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