2008-03-21 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

How we choose to look at life is up to each of us. I was walking on the beach one day last week, and it was raining and sunny at the same time. I had an umbrella for when it rained, and it was light enough to carry when the sun was strong. It pointed out to me how I wanted to view life. That life is about ups and downs together all the time. I want to have an umbrella in life for when I need it, and be able to enjoy those good sunny moments when they occur. But my expectation is for rain and sun to always be there. It is the way of life.

We try to control our own energy by being able to recognize our own emotions and then making sure that they do not control us. Intellectual thoughts provide the basis for these emotions whether they are the way I see the world, the expectations or life scripts I create, or values I accept from the outside world. If I believe that my thoughts are real, then I feel I know that I am right as opposed to someone else's perspective. I get disappointed if I don't get what I want or I lose trust in a trustworthy person because his or her behavior was unexpected. I must be aware that these thoughts are only illusions of reality.

My version keeps changing as I learn more and more about life. Does it mean that any of my views are real? They are my views, and I am aware that I can create my own suffering when I let my emotions get out of control.

Rather, it would be good to acknowledge to myself how I am feeling, then stop and keep my energy cleansed and open to receive intuitive messages. This way I have a link to the big picture of my life, which is more accurate than my intellect. I want to be sure that because of my emotional state, reality is not blocked by me.

If I bristle when someone I love says something, it is good to understand why the other person said what he said and even have a meaningful discussion over it. It is possible to ask in a kind way why another did or said something. That can bring people closer. It also acknowledges that our relationship is important enough that nothing should interfere, even a small miscommunication. Hopefully love underlies both sides in the relationship which can bring acceptance.

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