2008-02-08 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

Some of us live with the idea that if we do what we're supposed to according to society or the medical profession, for example, that we will be protected from bad things happening to us. We use it as a selfrighteous shield as reasons for being the way we are.. thin body, no drinking, jogging long distances, etc. , and then feel betrayed if we are in a situation, and we are not healing or getting what we feel we deserve considering how good we are.

Going with the flow is easier said than done. We can all say nice statements to help each other, but if I am the one stuck on a plane for several hours, for example, how can this be the flow? We may find ourselves ready to burst our own blood vessels since we can get so angry over all the things that we cannot control. If I'm the one with the terrible illness, how can I not be angry? Often it seems impossible to accept the unacceptable.

It is a mistake to think we control anything but our own energy. We don't control anything else, not even our own bodies. The only thing I can control is my response to things and the feeling of balance within myself. Many times controlling our response to the most serious events is an impossibility. The key is in the awareness. I can realize that I can stop myself, take a few deep breathes, ask for divine order to enter my life, and then accept my own reality.

When I try to control the uncontrollable or if I don't get my own way, I can create my own suffering by not accepting reality as it is. I am the creator of the bad feelings within myself because my own thoughts did not succeed in coming into being. I may be filled with anger or rage or resentment because life did not take the turn I would have liked. I should have been in the easy group or my body should have behaved differently after all I have done for it, for example. We must realize that when we do this, it is as if we think of ourselves as God who has the power to change events and make them happen. Perhaps there is something more that caused the events to turn out the way they do. I may have to realize that I have a lesson on patience or that I am not as perfect as I thought I was. Life may not go by the rules I decide are the rules of success. We are only one small piece of the larger puzzle of life, and it brings greater peace within to accept that life flows according to its own design that in the long run may prove to be in our best interests.

The best thing to do is to try to live in the reality as it occurs each moment, and I must remove my own expectations of how I would have wanted it to be. I may see that I can gain something from the actual experience I am in.

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