2007-09-21 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

Commentary by Marilyn Gelfand

Have you ever wanted to help someone so much because you really care about him that you crossed the line into wanting to control that person?

We want to make sure the other is doing it my way which is the right way? It sounds so harsh in these terms, but did you ever think your spouse or children should be doing it differently? It is so easy to care so much, we believe, that we have to help them see the light.

Our society is based on the individual being able to make certain personal choices. As participants in our lives, we have to step back sometimes and take a back seat when the decision is not ours to make. I might want to share my opinion, but these days I try to say it once, not 15 times. Since all of life is a growth experience from the spiritual perspective, we cannot assume that everyone's lessons are the same as ours. Different people get different experiences, which provide a learning opportunity. In the end, we all leave the Earth. How we live inbetween is our choice and challenge.

Having trust and faith in God helps us to do this. We can believe that there is something important for the other to experience here. We can help along the way with support or advice, but then we must let go of our worry, which will cloud things. So many things pop up that we didn't even expect. So, in trying to let go of worry, remember that if there is something that you must know or do, chances are your instincts, not your insecurities, will point the way for you. The idea is to know when to sit in the back of the car so that you don't lose the love or trust of those you care about most. If you know that you are the kind of person who must always be right, you may want to let go of that thinking and give yourself and the others in your life more freedom.

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