2005-12-16 / Columnists

The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

While we are live on Earth, we get the opportunity to physically experience life. We actually feel sensations, emotions, physical objects, life, etc. We are not meant to read the book of our lives, but to actually have the physical experience of all the events that happen to us. Knowing what the future holds would hamper the opportunity to know what the present moment holds. We would not be able to make meaningful decisions or know patience, for example. We need to feel the actual pain of putting our hands in fire to know not to do that again!

I had the opportunity to walk around a labyrinth based on the one in Chartres cathedral. It was a large circle with lines delineating and creating circular paths within the larger circle and there were lines cut into the paths that led to other paths or dead stops. The idea was to pick a path and then try to get into the center of the circle. The end of the road was the center. I decided to take the walk around the labyrinth for fun and see how it felt to me. I tried many different paths and they all led me to dead ends. I could feel my frustration growing. Why am I wasting valuable vacation time walking around this stupid circle, none of the paths probably leads to the center, etc. were thoughts that were crossing my mind while I was trying to reach the end.

After a bit, I decided I had to go to the center and work my way backwards. This way I’d know that a path really led to it. I could see if there was a trick to it. So, I went from the end to the beginning. There was a simple path. I had not chosen it the other way.

Once I went backwards on it a few times, I tried to walk forwards. It really wasn’t any fun. I knew the answer so I was only going through the motions. I had the security of knowing it could be done, but it wasn’t the same as really walking into the unknown. I think it was such a valuable experience and I keep it in the forefront of my mind when I can’t relax into the unknown. I do know that my life will end, but I just don’t know the way I’ll get there. So, I’ve decided to do my best to make my trip a good one for me, and then trust in the big picture to lead me where I need to be in each present moment.

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