2005-10-07 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

by Marilyn Gelfand

It is of value to look at situations or people in our lives that create pain, and say that I must find a new creative way to handle this situation. However, once life begins, it is often difficult to step back and not get caught in the emotion of the moment. If I feel hurt or confused, I might tend to withdraw and then start analyzing what my options are or just stay away. It could be two or three days before I remind myself that I intended to be creative and open to new ideas. It is never too late, though, to begin thinking creatively. It still puts an awareness into the situation that may help me now or for the next time. Don’t think just because I forgot yesterday, that I should not keep on trying to look for new ways to handle the same painful ones. 

If the person responds badly, it is okay, because at least this is trying to deal with the pain that I feel. 

The examining and trying to come up with new ways of relating to the same person may lead me to try different things.

Maybe something I change will bring about a change in the other person or situation. There is just no point in getting stuck in a painful relationship or issue without an attempt to make it better. It is worth the hard work and effort to know that you tried to make either the situation or relationship better.

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