Beach Volleyball Week 2 Starts Heating Up
Alice McElroy is apparently the new “Hammer” in town since she was heard exclaiming, “You can’t touch this.” TBG has expanded his operation and now has an entire PR staff working for him. If he put the same amount of effort into mail delivery as he does to his press releases he’d probably be postmaster general by now. (But he wouldn’t be as much fun.) His sidekick, Cement Shoes has been quiet thus far; look for him to break out soon.
Cubby and Mr. Deliverance hit it off well and almost ended a contest before it got started. Last Call wants to know if the league fees cover Access-a-Ride trips to the bathrooms. Are they even in the same zip code as the courts? Grassy’s Rat Pack squeaked by with 3 wins again this week (yes, the scores were wrong last week.). Five good rounds were played against All In The Family Almost – a formable opponent. Even with the addition of 3 rookies to the Rats, the scores were pretty close with most games. The youngest member of the rats (only 14!), ‘Baby Rat’, scored 5 points against ‘The Family’. Also good saving dives were made by all male members, Kevin, Keith, Maf and of course Jim, the one man team!
The grudge match continues between the NIC Ramblers and Gamblers and the displaced Rogue Sharks. The Ramblers won 3-2 after admittedly bribing the ref with adult liquid refreshments. The Sharks were at a disadvantage because Louie still seems distressed about his friend, Ben Dover. But not distressed enough to lose his appetite.
In spite of the recent Supreme Court ruling, Sands Point still offers a legal way to work on your joints. If your joints are burning, stop by Sands Point. They’ll fix you right up. Hey, John Sica, the girls from the Piranha’s with the ‘FARheads’; does that mean that they are standing ‘FAR” away? Or is it that you just don’t know grammar?
The Kerry Hills Pub once again set the standard for food at the RBVL post-game parties. After 15 years, I still haven’t figured out how a fine Irish lass like Carmel cooks Italian dishes so beautifully. The crowd was huge and promises to grow as the summer heats up. The pressure is on the rest of the sponsors for the rest of the season. Can they match the spread at the Kerry Hills? Stay tuned to find out.
Although our writing staff is pretty creative we need your input each week to complete these stories. Make sure you stop by the table with the laptop and the sports reporter to put in your two cents worth. A sentence or two is all you need. Don’t be bashful.
Where were the party animals from 127th St, or as we call them, Connolly’s? Capt. Steve was drinking alone for the second week in a row. It seems even his neighbors won’t drink with him anymore. They better show at practice Sunday at high noon. Happy 7 th birthday, Andrew. Rocky needs his priorities straightened out. Since when does a basketball game trump a RBVL match against his hometown rivals, The Sugarbowl? Maybe he was scared to face the upcoming future stars of the league. (Insert sound of frightened, clucking chicken here.)
After two weeks there is only one undefeated team, Freedhand’s Court Champs. Parity has arrived. Patty finally knows which Walsh sister is Erin and which one is Bonnie. Do you? Patty suffered the most severe injury of the night but it didn’t happen as she played ball. Instead it occurred at the bar when cub reporter, Joe slammed a chair down on her big toe. Be careful out there! By the way, the All-Sprained Ankle team featured Joe, Jimmy Mack, Steve, Eileen and John Sica (honorary member with gout).
Not since John Sica’s daring and fruitful makeover on Queer Eye has the Rockaway community been abuzz about an upcoming contest. Mark Burnett is considering purchasing the TV rights to this monumental event - The Rockaway Beach Volleyball Bachelor! One lucky bachelorette will win an exclusive all-paid weekend date with one of the area’s most eligible men. The contest is open to all women between 21 and 50. (If they can’t walk, drag ‘em!) The mystery man has been beating them away from his door for years and has always left the ladies wanting more. Now one lucky person will realize the dream of a lifetime. Contest details and the name of the “stud” will be detailed in next week’s article. We can say that the bachelor is not TBG, despite his begging and substantial cash bribe. Since Murph did not show up for the 2004 playoffs he is ineligible.
Captains, make sure your rosters are in by the deadline on 6/22. (The deadline was extended one week because of the influx of new teams.) The league is aware that teams have used non-roster players in an effort to avoid forfeits. Because the rosters are not overdue yet, technically a player is not on or off a roster. As soon as the rosters are in, this practice will not be acceptable. Teams must use ONLY roster players. That’s why you need extra people on your squad.
This week and next we’ll introduce you to some of your dedicated committee members, the folks that steer the mighty ship RBVL. At the top of the list is Commissioner Patty Moule, who pulls the strings and makes all of the executive decisions. On Wednesdays, you see her at the beach calmly playing for Papa’s Pizza Bikini Bottoms.
What you don’t see are the dozens of phone calls she makes weekly handling routine issues as well as VB crises. If you’ve ever tried to coach any youth team of 10-12 players you know how much work goes into the job. Now figure what it takes to coordinate 500 wacky adults weekly. Every week 20 nets, balls, lines, clipboards, pens and score sheets are ready to go at 6:00 PM. thanks to our equipment gurus, Steve and Rocky.Rocky doubles as our party planner and you’ll see his work during the playoff extravaganza and awards dinner, both of which grow bigger each year. We’ll introduce you to the rest of the crew next week. If you have any questions, please call Patty Moule at 212-604-7087. You can leave a detailed message anytime at this number. See you on the beach and at next week’s party at The Irish Circle!