2004-10-22 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

by Marilyn Gelfand

Going with the flow is such a common expression. For most of us, it means letting go and letting things develop at their own pace. If I let go into my path, I know when to push and when to wait. I know what is action that is useful and when I am being impulsive or insecure. Following my path means that I am in a balanced state and can also control my emotions so that my actions are what they would be in a calm frame of reference. 

Going with the flow also means allowing other people to flow on their own path. When they are following what they believe, it is correct for them.  I may think it is crazy, but each one has a right to follow his or her own right action. Taking the election, for example, people voting for Bush or Kerry have their own reasons and often believe the others are stupid or ignorant. 

People focus on different priorities and their own personal experiences in life bring up different sincere points of view. Each one feels right for himself.

Allowing others to choose their own way can be difficult if we love them and believe they are making mistakes.  If you yourself feel frustrated, why not ask the other person why he feels the way he does.  Maybe you can have a dialog rather than a yelling match of who is the louder one.  We can all be “right” or “wrong”. Only hindsight allows us to know for sure. Maybe things will happen differently in the future that we cannot be aware of yet.  The only thing we can do is to believe that I myself am taking my own right action today.

When we go with flow, we need to pay attention to whether we are focusing on the big picture of our lives or just one small part. Often the big picture is what guides us even if we can’t see why today. 

The more we use our own inner guidance, the more we can trust that it is good for us. Then we can be more relaxed in the present moment and truly go with the flow.

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