2004-10-08 / Sports

F.D.N.Y. Victory Locks Up South Florida Police Department

New faces mean new skills and new talent as the F.D.N.Y. Brooklyn Bas-ketball squad slammed the Fort Laud-erdale Police Department. The injection of youth was the unexpected jolt that was missed in the last few games. The F.D.N.Y. enjoyed its underdog role as the game was played before a packed and angry mob at the University of Miami’s campus.

Southern Florida residents are obviously reading the slanted, anti- fire department New York Post because their venomous vocabulary was direct and downright mean-spirited. However, the F.D.N.Y. Brooklyn hoops ran the Southern Florida flatfoots out of the gym. The injection of new blood will help the squad be the team (167-0) to beat.

The 104-86 final did not indicate how one sided the game was. New Rockaway point man Ryan Whelan captured M.V.P. honors with 15 points, 17 assists, heady defense and some crafty playmaking. The rook enjoyed his first weekend but is already looking to jump ship to the more prestigious FDNY “A” Team. Is there another Rockaway pointman out there/Sean or Billy Heeran maybe? Spanky Mac or Rockhead? Stay tuned!

There will not be anymore self promoting boasts from Wil “Fat Elvis” Downey in the near future. His atrocious play and indifferent attitude on the court (think former Dolphin Ricky Williams) might be explained by the absence of his mentor and self-help guru, Rockaway’s favorite son, Kevin “Coach Flathead” Coursey. Or it could have been Wil’s addiction and constant attention paid to Denny’s 24 hour all you can eat buffet. The human joint can withstand only so much pressure.

On a major positive note, longtime team supporter and ageless teen idol, Ed “Not Eggy” Tolan might actually float home to N.Y.C. on cloud nine. After getting word late Friday night that he finally passed the psychological exam, Ed was officially sworn is as an auxiliary N.Y.C. Firefighter. Ed is now allowed to ride rigs, take fire scene pictures and test fire hydrants when he’s not power broking. Ed’s unselfish and hard-nosed play was a difference maker. He easily took over the missing Jack Bradley’s role and his pre-game dunking show enlivened the packed arena. Welcome aboard and make sure that the scanner is on.

Tommy “Cutey-Pie” Murphy provided tenacious defense on the court and much entertainment off it. His mambo with the midget land shark and 6’5 “older Elvis” impersonator was one of the ages. Tommy and Greg “N.H.” Hearn’s constant SCOTTIE chants were heard in Cuba.

Extra Tidbits

The FDNY Brooklyn team’s victory party rocked South Florida. D.J. Mouse flew down and worked the room magically. New coach “J. Law” was a gracious host at the team’s Floridian headquarters “The Black Pearl Tavern” of Fort Lauderdale.

At the Jets-Miami football game, an incensed Fireman Ed was looking intensely for Rockaway Rugby legend John “Oakie” O’ Connor. Ed claims Oakie has been spreading rumors in F.DN.Y. circles that the official Jets mascot was originally a Dallas Cowboys fan. Firemen Ed then accused Oakie of padding his arm-wrestling stats and also quick starting at “down the hatch.”

More rumors have the cherubic and charismatic manager of Jameson’s Pub attempting to censor the press. First Amendment rights are protected in this great country Marty. So long live our flag and god bless America. Next game this fall will be versus the Harlem Globetrotters. Until then, Bottoms Up and Calm Down!

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