2004-06-25 / Sports

Amazon Woman Stalks Cubby At The RBVL

By Mary Whelan

Amazon Woman Stalks Cubby At The RBVL

By Mary Whelan

Another beautiful night for the RBVL League! Now if the sun would just position itself a different way, we would be able to see the ball. Before we start the soap opera known as the RBVL there is an important item to discuss. Many nets are coming back at the end of each night without all of the parts. The most common missing items are the tent pegs that hold down the four corners of the lines. Be careful when packing up to include these pegs. They may be small but they are essential to a proper court set-up. We have already used up our entire inventory of spare ones in only four weeks. In fact, we’ve lost more of these stakes this year than in the last 10 years combined. What’s up, gang? Now onto the soap opera.

As the night went on the Sharks were wondering where their beloved teammate Cubby was? As of 10:30 PM he had not yet appeared in the Irish Circle. Rumor had it that the Master of Love was abducted from the Boardwalk at Riis and taken hostage. NYPD said a missing persons report couldn’t be taken until the person in question is missing at least 24 hours from the time of the crime.

After a five minute survey of the Boardwalk the team decided he had found his happiness and went back to their coolers. Much to the surprise of the League, Cubby appeared at 10:45 PM shouting out loud "Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank God almighty Free at Last." Oh, and where was Charlie Brady, the Iron Man? Nursing babies again?

Cubby wishes to thank the Rev. Al and Jesse for their assistance in his release. He is very confident that he can enjoy the rest of this evening without fear of the Amazon Woman. Mr. Handsome has even had to retain personal bodyguards to protect him during his evening activities. His request that the league undertake this responsibility has been denied. Sorry, you are on your own, big guy!

Meanwhile, the Sharks won 3-2 over One Win, continuing their quest to dominate the division despite the Amazon distraction. Dotsie Kearns only played 3 game this week, but they just happened to be the 3 games her team won. Coincidence? I think not! Make a note of that, guys.

The Irish Circle hosted the party and a huge crowd attended. The food was different and delicious although Steve filled up on bread waiting for the main course. He should have waited for the beef stir fry and the Swedish meatballs.

While waiting for the grub, refs – Alan, Al and Ed tried to make a killing on the ponies. They were not successful. Folks loved the music and many revelers stayed late into the night. Good on you, Irish Circle.

Its All Good has recently been extremely concerned about the absence of Farrell Murphy. Teammates have reported that they believe by Iraqi Guerillas may have abducted him. Not withstanding this report, TBG says, "Screw him, they can have him!" Once again, Dickie Flanagan led his team to victory, 3-2 over the Mahooshkas. The match was tied going into the fifth game, when Sully lost his top and composure and served consecutive serves into the net, tragically resulting in his team’s loss. Sully, it’s only a game! Lets keep our top on next time we play. Oh, and there will be a minimum on the cooler.

Tom "the Moose" Reilly, from the Beach House, is retiring after 20 years with the FDNY. We wish him the best and hope he plays another 20 years for the RBVL. Now someone will have to put his or her favorite spot on the couch that he leaves behind in E268. Those pension checks will be something to look at! I wonder who his mailman is? In any event, enjoy.

The general still feels that the RBVL is for fun and nothing more – very profound.

The Federation came out strong but fell to the Bikini Bottom All-Stars 1-4. Superior serving was the difference with Kerri and Jimmy Mack leading the way. Jimmy almost pitched a perfect game with 18 consecutive winners in the opener. Congrats to Brian on the birth of his first child, a son!! All the best and thanks for the beverages. Maybe Gregg should come back from NC and help us with our winning streak. Rita’s come back was awesome. Lets hope John can continue to keep her happy and keeps her playing.

Commissioner Patty would like to thank Trisha Kearns for the best meal she has ever had. Who knew getting a babysitter and an evening out would be so much fun!

What happened to Denise of Connolly’s Island? Was there a close encounter of the third kind that needed to be iced down for a few days? Denise said she should have known better, when she took to the field with Matty! A 12-pack can cure those wounds, or a day off from work. Connolly’s won 3 games playing against the Nobody’s. Who are the Nobody’s? I hear they are a nice bunch of youngsters.

The Brooklyn Transplants had an early run-in with Spiderman during their game this evening. Apparently Spidey thought the net was his web and landed in it not once, but twice! Maybe he should talk to Superman and borrow some of that X-ray vision! The Lady Transplants took control of this week’s 3-2 victory over the Harbor Light, their first win of the year.

They were tired of sitting on the sidelines each week, calling all the shots. This time they served all the shots! Bobby and Debbie, what did we do? Are you coming back? Maybe Spidey should bring the Green Goblin with him next time!

Sands Point played against Suns of Beaches and won 3-2. They appear worried about making the playoffs but shouldn’t fret. Everyone in their division makes the playoffs. Poor Carol, what is going on? Who was that guy that hit her? Maybe she should just bring the girls next week. Happy Birthday goes out to Steve, again!

All four matches in the Boardwalk division were split 3-2. You can’t get any closer than that. Only 2 of 32 teams pitched shutouts this week. Watch out for Freedhand’s Court Champs and Vaughn’s Cheese Fries, two powerhouse teams.

Congratulations to Mark and Judy on the birth of their new baby girl. (You did say girl, didn’t you?)

See you on the beach! And at Vaughn’s Tap & Grill, next week’s party site!


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