2004-03-19 / Sports

FDNY Brooklyn Hoops Toasts To 68-0 Undefeated Record

FDNY Brooklyn Hoops Toasts To 68-0 Undefeated Record

FDNY Brooklyn Hoops Team.FDNY Brooklyn Hoops Team.

The FDNY Brooklyn Basketball team celebrated its still undefeated era at its 4th Annual Awards Dinner at Harbor Light last week. The team was still gloating over their victory over the cops at St. Francis de Sales.

The festive atmosphere was evident as the team presented the $11500 check for the SFDS School Memorial Scholarship Fund. Rockaway’s favorite son, Kevin "Coach Flathead" Coursey was the dinner’s M.C. working the room like Ol’ Blue Eyes at the Copacabana back in the day. The coach was somewhat perplexed doing the festive occasion as he tried to explain some noticeable boycotts almost spoiling the night.

The original gold medal world championship team was broken up with the sudden retirements of bulked-up point guard Kevin "B.B." Murphy and Steve Collins. However, the sudden abrupt self removal and absenteeism by Rockaway’s own Jack "Arnold" Brad ley has Coach Coursey scratching his humongous head. Jack was quoted to this reporter in the post game, "This is the last time I put on the Brooklyn uniform, EVER!" This puzzling erratic behavior is confusing team management since it’s overwhelmingly supported Jack with his best defensive EVER last week. Hopefully all will be solved by Memorial Day Sunday in the Sugar Bowl so stay tuned.

More team dissension arose as center Wil "Shawn Kemp" Downey fumed at team phy sician, Dr. Peter Brady for the harsh weight-monitoring program placed upon him recently. An agitated Wil declared the recent increased bodyweight has only helped make him impossible to move when he finally crosses half-court. He also questioned the acquisition of Rockaway’s greatest big man ever, Paul Peterson. Undet erred, Dr. Brady warned Wil to lower his body-fat back to 3.5% and banned him from the buffet.

Poor Timmy Riches injured his shooting arm against the NYPD as he showed up in a sling. He felt a twinge when he pulled up from Bay Ridge (airballing badly). HE seemed to be eyeballing a cute blonde on the stage instead of the rim on offense.

Extra Tidbits

The team is looking for any challengers in the future. The next game will be against the Fort Lauderdale P.D. in Florida in April.

Future hopeful point guard Ryan "Ears" Whelan was stopped at the door trying to crash the awards dinner. He thought wearing Kevin Murphy’s retro #3 jersey would gain him admittance. The team management is still waiting for results from his candidate psychological. Tommy "Cutey-Pie" Murphy, on best behavior lately (besides his Scottie chants at the game) Is looking for another chance at the show.

Ex team supporter and matinee idol, the ageless power broker, Ed "Not Eggy" Tolan has finally resurfaced. Ed was finely tuning his buff body for his role in the next "Temptation Island" reality series. Local boy does good! Good luck Ed. No Unholy alliances and keep up the intense bicep work. On a sad note, Rockaway Rugby legend John "Oakie" O’ Connor might be retired from competitive rugby play after missing the Rockaway Irish day rugby match between the FDNY and NYPD.

Fire Department Coach Bob "Small Pipes" Johnson tearfully said, "It’s like Mickey Mantle walking out of Yankee Stadium for the last time".

That’s it, so Bottoms Up and Calm Down!!!

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