2004-01-02 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points

Lost Without Lists
by Kelvin Boyle
Boyle-ing Points by Kelvin Boyle Lost Without Lists

Whew, Tom Ridge can lower the risk alert. I got my new socks and underwear for Christmas. Some guys want a DVD recorder or the newest gadget. I just want my new socks and tighty-whities. By mid-December I’m a walking weapon of mass destruction. I approached some street corner Salvation Army Santa to make a donation and he put up his hand: Dude, treat yourself. Tis the season. You owe it to the rest of us.

Thankfully, my stocking was full of the needed goodies. So to the rest of you: Happy Holidays and you can all start breathing again.

** Some people don’t like year-end lists. Not me, I need them. I miss so much during the year that I need lists to condense things for me. I didn’t know Kobe Bryant was arrested for rape and was shocked to learn Arnold Schwarzenegger was now governor of California. Ok, ok, I exaggerate but I really do need some of the lists. The croaked celebrity list is a must. Without fail, I say to myself, he died? Or when I read some other celebrity has passed on to the great white light some time during the last year —- I often think, jeez, I thought so-and-so was dead years ago. Makes me wonder, has Rose Kennedy died yet?

If I’m lucky, I get to the movies once a year so I need the best-of-the-year movies list. Those are the videos I rent —- when I have the time or inclination to rent something. Problem is, by the time I go to rent something I’ve forgotten the 10 best list and can’t remember if people said the movie was good or bad. Half the time, I leave the video store empty handed. Hmmm… so maybe I don’t need that list.

Another list I really don’t need but I find myself drawn to is the most eligible singles list. It’s usually made up of celebrities of some kind. Checking the list is kind of like rubbernecking at a bloody crash site. I find myself saying "ewwww..." a lot. I think Liza Minelli is on the list every year. Ewww... Ed Koch used to be on this list (double ewwww) but he’s become so repulsive even disgraced Bess Myerson won’t be his alleged date. He’s been moved to the list of those likely to morph into Roy Cohn. A third of the celebrity list I don’t recognize. It’s a bonus when you actually know someone on the list. Our congressman, the mayor-in-waiting, was (again) listed among the most eligible bachelors in New York. Well, we can say we all knew this New York Warren Beatty when he was still wearing a shirt and tie on the beach. You’ve come a long way, Weiner.

** Only in America: A line going around about Michael Jackson. It’s only in America a young poor black boy can grow up to be an old rich white woman.

**Hundreds, yes, hundreds, of people contributed to the fundraising drive spearheaded by The Graybeards to help volunteer firefighters in Southern California. Donations, big and small, poured in resulting in thousands of dollars raised. The drive wraps up around New Year’s so they’re still accepting donations (send to The Graybeards, 436 Beach 129th street, Belle Harbor, NY 11694). To those of you who sent in: Thank you! You helped make this a Rockaway-wide effort. You helped prove (again) that Rockaway is full of generous people and Southern California will soon know this, too. (And thanks to The Wave for helping spread the word).

**Hoop news: Shane Gauvard is the latest big-time sharpshooter to burst on the scene after honing his skills in the St. Francis schoolyard. The St. Edmund’s senior guard has tossed in 20, 27, and 30 points in three recent games. Although he’s playing alongside a number of inexperienced underclassmen, he’s skillfully managed to carry much of the load and has lead to a winning record so far. The athletic Guavard, who still has a big upside, will make some college coach look awfully smart next year….Ray Corrigan is having a strong year at Amherst. He had 17 in a recent win... Kevin Fitzgerald at Boston University was praised in print by his coach, Dennis Wolfe, He called Fitzy, "as big a winner as he’s (Wolfe) ever had " at BU... Brian Kelly, another SFDS schoolyard alum, recently had a dozen points as he led King’s Point past Maritime... Thomas McCormack is getting 10 per game at Adelphi. Terrance Watkins is back in action after bouncing around a bit. He’s also getting 10 per game, playing at St. Peter’s in Jersey City.

**Happy New Year.


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