2003-12-05 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

by Marilyn Gelfand
The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

During these holiday days, we may become emotional for so many different reasons. We have our current experiences combined with memories and expectations. In this column, I have recently written about separating ourselves from others who do not mean well towards us and also our own scripts of how things should be. We must also sometimes realize that we can be caught up in another’s suffering as well. If someone we really care for is going through a hard time, it may seem unbearable to ourselves.

Many years ago, I had two friends dying of cancer...one was 28 and the other was 32. I was besides myself. I tried to do all I could to help them, and I was a wreck. The messages from God/ Universe came through as a reminder that I didn’t have cancer. Did I think I was God trying to determine who should live or die? If and when I had a disease, it would be my time to experience the pain of it, but now that I was a friend, step back, have a good life of my own, and be a good friend. If I kept suffering with everyone I knew who had genuine pain, when would I enjoy life? It would be over. It was difficult for me to separate myself from the pain of others I loved. But I really had no control anyway. I probably did not realize that I could still be a good friend while experiencing the health of my own life.

Now many years later, having gone through my own personal pain as well as being there for others going through their hard times, I know the importance of being able to keep in balance no matter what the circumstances. There is strength in being able to control my own emotions, not letting them control me. When one can also put the big picture of existence into focus alongside our own daily lives, it helps to see the cycle of life. I know where I am now in this cycle.

So, to the best of our ability, we can remain focused, cleansed and experience joy and thankfulness for someone or something. Life is meant to have ups and downs. We must realize that life is an adventure that we don’t control, but can control our emotions and energy along the way.


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