2003-07-18 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

by Marilyn Gelfand
The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

When things don’t go the way we expect them to, we often judge what happens as "bad." Although we realize that we don’t control everything, somehow, we expect that life will go the way we feel it should. In hindsight, we can often feel lucky when something changed, and it was actually favorable. But while we are living everyday, we can be thrown by the unexpected occurring. When we live, we can eliminate the boxes we put our thoughts into...good/bad, for example, and just accept what is and then act according to what we feel intuitively and go to our next step. I have learned to go with the flow and am comfortable with how I feel about things. I totally recognize that others, even in my family, have a completely different opinion. When I eliminate my own perception, I am more able to understand where someone else is coming from.

Often, there are "myths" that we are told by our society or people we know, and we just accept them without thought. I know many people have said that technology keeps people from being close to each other. It’s better to do things in person or on the phone than deal with a computer. My own experience, however, has shown me otherwise. I am now able to communicate with people in other parts of the world in an easier fashion. I also have reconnected with many people from my early school years because of chat groups and the new ability to discover lost classmates. Many people have become closer thanks to modern technology. It’s a personal situation, not a good/bad classification.

There are big events that, of course, can cause trauma when they occur. But even smaller situations like vacations, work days, guests in our home, etc. can present a turn of events that was completely unforeseen. I have started living my life as openly and as flexibly as possible. What I have come to realize is that, barring those traumas, no one can tell if what is happening in any present moment is going to be good or bad as it plays itself out in the future. As life is lived, one can look around and actually see what is presented, rather than what is thought or hoped. Then one can go on from there. If for example, instincts say do nothing in a situation, then that may be the best course of action. I have seen people wait till the right apartment materialized, and trusted it would be there at the right time and place. We can just follow our instincts and leave logic out of the picture. Sometimes we have just to let go of knowing why. The idea is to trust ourselves enough to know it is the right course of behavior.

Since we don’t know all the aspects of every situation, but God and the Universe does, often letting our in- stincts guide us will tap into this information. It’s the only way to feel safe driving in the fog, for example or experiencing periods when we feel in limbo. So, with more and more trust in ourselves and in the Universe, we can let go of judgment and compartmentalizing values, and just keep on living.

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