Connolly’s Orioles Jamaica Bay Softball Report
Ich bin ein Oriole!!" - John Fitzgerald Kennedy
At long last the Orioles awoke on a Sunday to warm and sunny skies, the type of weather that is perfect for a doubleheader of softball, and the usual postgame frolicking. Unfortunately for our heroes in orange, it was not their day. Thanks in most part to a long, and not so distinguished list of players who stayed out to late Friday night, or were just to lazy to show, the Orioles lost two poorly played games. Without describing each and every gory detail, suffice it to say at one point the outfield consisted of Shrek, Mizer, and Billy "the one armed ban dit" Theis. Yeah, good luck with that!!!
Baby U.E. did his Nadia Comenieci routine and tumblesaulted a routine pop into a perfect ten. Grace showed up at Connolly’s after both games were ended, typical of an EMT, always too late. Tommy Cook actually showed up again, and homered. Hopefully, the best is yet to come since the Orioles are now 0-6.
******News and Notes—Belly now holds the record for highest altitude #2, which occurred in the lavatory in the Sears Tower...Newset "Oriole Nut" John Cusack sends his regards to fellow Oriole fans, and now takes Lew Simon’s job as Oriole spokesman ... Whalehead is changing his number to 00, so kids will recognize him as Mr. Met...Newest "Funhouse" resident Joe McAuliffe will be signing autographs in the Connolly’s garden after Sunday’s games...Jeff and Kerry Ann have told Sully if he doesn’t stop shedding in the bar, he’ll have to drink with the cats in the yard from now on...Ross is on the Atkins diet, and down to a lean 270, his drinking weight in high school.