2003-06-13 / Sports

Connolly’s Orioles Softball Report

"Softball is a lot like sex. Even when it
By QDawgg
Connolly’s Orioles Softball Report By QDawgg

"Softball is a lot like sex. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty fun." – Jimmy "Whalehead" Fershland

The Orioles showed up at the field last Sunday ready to even their record at 2-2. As they warmed up, they were treated to the new team soundtrack, which was created by Pete "Steve" Grogan and Spike. The Oriole Soundtrack is a 2 CD compilation which has a specific song for each Oriole, as well as some old favorites. They are available through Funhouse Records, and can be acquired by contacting Spike, Head, or Sully. Game one began badly for the Orioles who quickly fell behind The Blackwater and their evil leader, Sean "Benedict Arnold" Fallon 10-0. The Orioles chipped away, with some timely hitting from Tommy "No Show" Cook and Gene "Dr. Rioda" Ritter. A gallant effort fell short, however, and the Orioles suffered their first "mercy rule" loss of the season, 18-6.

Game two started in near freezing conditions, but the Orioles were ready. Inspired by a guaranteed victory from Danny "Bulldog" Allen, the Orioles jumped out to a quick 3-0 lead. Umpire Moonie Hanning’s calls and a bitterly cold wind conspired to cost the Orioles the lead heading into the last of the seventh. As the Orioles faced the daunting task of surmounting a five run lead, Sean "Miser" O’Connell reminded the fellas that this was Memorial Day Weekend, and "this game isn’t over until we say it is! Balfe, dead! O’Connor, dead" Sean the Traitor, dead!" Worked up by these stirring words, the Orioles loaded the bases and key at bats by Sean "Crackhead" Kelly, JP "Q Dawgg" Quinn, and Mike "Super-Size It" Kelly made the score 11-10 with 2 outs.  Weird John approached the plate with the tying run a mere 60 feet away, and the winning run 120 feet from the plate. WJ hit a well placed ball into the hole at short and ran like the wind. Unbelieveably, the shortstop got to the ball, planted his feet, fired to first, and.........."oh, somewhere in this favored land, you may hear a happy shout, but there is no joy in Connolly’s, Weird John has grounded out".

News and Notes........KerryAnn says "Hi" to all Oriole fans out there, and eminds you to come by and say hello and welcome back the summer staffat everyone’s favorite bar, Connolly’s...Mike "12 step" Moran and his wife Donna "Voice of the People" Moran were spotted canoodling at The Blackwater, Moran says he may be ready to suit back up with the Orioles!.....Congrats to Sean Ahearn and Kim on the birth of thei second child, and first son, Liam.  Also to former Oriole Sloth and his wife Theresa on the birth of their first born child, Ryan - two future Orioles?...The last 2 Orioles out on Sunday night were QDawgg and Grace.


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