2003-05-16 / Sports

Connolly’s Orioles Jamaica Bay Softball Report

By Johnny Baseball
Connolly’s Orioles Jamaica Bay Softball Report By Johnny Baseball

At last the softball season has arrived. The familiar sights and sounds of summer are finally here: the old-fashioned "ping" of aluminum connecting with horsehide, the smell of stale beer wafting out of the dugouts as teams sweat out the previous night’s (at least) frivolity, and the melodious voice of Denis McEneny as he calls "strike three" on a pitch two feet outside and flat. 

Softball season is officially underway this weekend, and the Connolly’s Orioles intend to serve notice that the league had better not underestimate us this year!

Although as of press time, times and fields had yet to be determined, just look for the orange jerseys that adorn the JBSL’s favorite team - the Orioles - and you’ll witness some quality softball.  Due to inclement weather, laziness, and Mother’s Day the Orioles were unable to get together for a final tuneup last weekend. According to Manager Whalehead, however, the team is ready "to tear through this league like Belly through a family meal at Boston Market". 

A lengthy hiatus has the boys chomping at the bit to get started. Everyone seems motivated and ready to make a long awaited run at the league championship. When asked his opinion on the upcoming season, Spike replied "it’s about time someone reminded the teams in this league how old they are. 

I mean, seriously, look at some of the decrepit fossils still playing on teams like The Blackwater, Grassy’s, and Mudguppies; I heard the Grey Panthers are thinking of fielding a team! Is this the JBSL or the AARP"?

Make no mistake about it, the Oriole’s are for real this year.  No less an expert than Sean "Chanalana" O’Connell, no spring chicken himself, has already proclaimed this the "Year of the Oriole", and vowed to "layeth the smackdown" on opposing teams.

Come watch the Orioles make history this year, or at least join us at Connolly’s for the usual post-game imbibing and antics such as "fat-guys racing", rookie treatment, "The Mill", and pin-the tail on O’Neill.

**A few quick notes...applications are currently being accepted for Orioles cheerleaders (sorry, ladies only, Keating).  Submit all pertinent information to Joe "the Goods" Larkin, and remember to please call while his fiancee is at work.

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