2003-02-15 / Columnists

From the G-Man

By Gary G. Toms
The Best Is Yet To Come

Hey people! Well, this is it. This will be the last column that I write for The Wave. While I have a certain sense of sadness about it, I am happy in knowing that I will have the opportunity to spread my wings and face new and exciting challenges as a writer in the coming months. I must admit that I was a bit overwhelmed by the number of phone calls, Emails and letters that came in from well wishers. I found myself playing the role of Sally Field during her Oscar win when she said, "You like me. You really, really like me!" Seriously, the outpouring of love has been wonderful.

Many have asked where I will be going next and what I’ll be doing. As much as I would like to give you an idea of what is transpiring, all I can say right now is that there are a number of options on the table that I am pursuing. Also, my sources in the field of entertainment have noted that some high profile people have expressed an immediate interest in my services. I’m not sure how serious they are, but you can rest assured that I WILL NOT be doing any public relations work for Martha Stewart, Lizzie Grubman or Senator Trent Lott.

I would like to take a moment to dispel a few rumors, with regard to what I will be doing once I leave The Wave.

One, I will not be doing any nude pictorials in "Stud" magazine. They wouldn’t have a lens big enough anyway! Oh, I can hear the groans out there over that last line now!

Two, I have not been hired to start an exploratory committee to look into having Bill Clinton re-elected. I’m smart, but I’m not a glutton for punishment.

Three, I am not leaving to start a heavy metal rock band called "Vomit." Ewww! That was pretty gross, even for me.

Four, I am not leaving to star in a black version of Joe Millionaire, which is in development, called I Ain’t Got S—t! You Still Wanna Get Married?

Five, I am not replacing Jerry Springer on his show.

Six, I will not be running for Mayor of Rockaway City.

Seven, I will not be the spokesperson for the National Enema Society.

Finally, I will not be leaving to star with Madonna in any future film projects, especially after her last movie Swept Away. What a God-awful movie! I would prefer watching paint dry with my hands tied behind my back, and some little brat kicking me repeatedly in the groin, than sit through that horror again.

Writing this column has been a blast! It allowed me to tackle some of the most serious issues that affect each and every one of us in some way, and it allowed me to showcase my knack for social and political satire. When people asked me, "How do you know what you are going to write about on any given week?" I often told them I had no idea what I was going to write about. I noted that I just sit down at the computer, and "it" just comes. Sometimes, you have what I call "inspirational subjects," like a Lizzie Grubman or some stupid celebrity or politician, who warrant a column or two. Whether I was praising someone or ripping them to shreds, my goal was to get you to respond in some way. Luckily, I was blessed to have that happen in the last five and a half years.

If I may leave you with anything, let it be this. If you believe in something, have the courage to stand by it. Never waiver or straddle the fence. We have enough people running the world and making decisions on our behalf that have become experts in these tactics, and that is why the world, and system, is as mucked up as it is. Be honest and true to yourself and your convictions because when all is said and done, that is how you will be judged in this life and beyond. Never "play the game," but always play to win. You may fall short of victory, but so what. If you can hold your head up high and go to your grave with a sense of honor, pride and respect, then you have accomplished what The Creator put you here to do.

To the children of Rockaway, from Breezy Point to the Redfern Houses, I urge you to let nothing keep you from your path to success. Follow your heart, not the knuckleheads. Keep it real, but keep it positive! Keep your little behinds in school and get that diploma. You will get nothing out of life without it. You’re going to face many obstacles in life, but just keep telling yourself that you will never give anyone, especially your critics, the satisfaction of seeing you fail. The G-man believes in you, even if you think no one else does.

Well, it’s time for a cowboy to ride! I won’t fade into the sunset though. I guarantee you all that the best is yet to come for The G-man, and you can count on that. I thank The Wave for giving me the chance to establish myself as a writer up to this point, and I thank all of you, who loved me or hated me, for taking the time to check me out every week. I’m off to fight the good fight. Be good to one another while I’m gone. I love you all.

"The G-man"


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