2003-01-04 / Front Page

Pictures And Punchlines

In an attempt to take advantage of the enormous popularity of the "Spiderman" film, City Councilman Joseph Addabbo, Jr. skipped several important City Council meetings to attend auditions for the latest "Superman" movie. Many of the council members beg
By Gary G. Toms


In an attempt to take advantage of the enormous popularity of the "Spiderman" film, City Councilman Joseph Addabbo, Jr. skipped several important City Council meetings to attend auditions for the latest "Superman" movie. Many of the council members began to worry about Addabbo after he repeatedly ripped his shirt open for no apparent reason during recent meetings at City Hall. "I don't think Joe has ever been the same since he was turned down for the role," said Councilman James Sanders, Jr. "Even now, when reporters question him about ferry service in Rockaway, he rips his shirt open and screams, 'You question me about the ferry? Do you know who I am? I'm Superman... you putz!'In an attempt to take advantage of the enormous popularity of the "Spiderman" film, City Councilman Joseph Addabbo, Jr. skipped several important City Council meetings to attend auditions for the latest "Superman" movie. Many of the council members began to worry about Addabbo after he repeatedly ripped his shirt open for no apparent reason during recent meetings at City Hall. "I don't think Joe has ever been the same since he was turned down for the role," said Councilman James Sanders, Jr. "Even now, when reporters question him about ferry service in Rockaway, he rips his shirt open and screams, 'You question me about the ferry? Do you know who I am? I'm Superman... you putz!'

A Comical Look At The People, Places and Things In Rockaway
By Gary G. Toms

Congressman Anthony Weiner was caught off guard at a recent press conference in New York City, as several reporters asked if there was any truth to the rumor that he was engaged to actress Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo). Weiner's only response was, "C'mon guys! Who isn't engaged to Jennifer Lopez?" The Congressman was then whisked away by staffers to attend the premiere of "Maid in Manhattan."Congressman Anthony Weiner was caught off guard at a recent press conference in New York City, as several reporters asked if there was any truth to the rumor that he was engaged to actress Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo). Weiner's only response was, "C'mon guys! Who isn't engaged to Jennifer Lopez?" The Congressman was then whisked away by staffers to attend the premiere of "Maid in Manhattan."

 

 

 

Police units from the 100 Precinct responded to reports of smoke at Mayor Bloomberg's Rockaway villa last week, and what they uncovered was shocking. The Mayor and several members of his administration were inside puffing away on packs of Malboro and Camel cigarettes. As police wrestled Bloomberg to the ground, the mayor flailed his arms and attempted to get a few more puffs from his cigarette. "I'm the Mayor!! That stupid law does not apply to me," said Bloomberg. The Mayor was also given a summons for having a surfboard on the premises.Police units from the 100 Precinct responded to reports of smoke at Mayor Bloomberg's Rockaway villa last week, and what they uncovered was shocking. The Mayor and several members of his administration were inside puffing away on packs of Malboro and Camel cigarettes. As police wrestled Bloomberg to the ground, the mayor flailed his arms and attempted to get a few more puffs from his cigarette. "I'm the Mayor!! That stupid law does not apply to me," said Bloomberg. The Mayor was also given a summons for having a surfboard on the premises.

 

 

 


Joe Parisi, running back for the BCAC Ponies, ran for a record 10 touchdowns in route to a 70-7 thrashing of their opponent. When reporters asked the team's coach what was the motivation for Parisi's amazing performance, the coach pointed to a scantly clad Britney Spears, who was standing on the goal line.Joe Parisi, running back for the BCAC Ponies, ran for a record 10 touchdowns in route to a 70-7 thrashing of their opponent. When reporters asked the team's coach what was the motivation for Parisi's amazing performance, the coach pointed to a scantly clad Britney Spears, who was standing on the goal line.
"I shall have my revenge! I've got my new belt, and I pity the teacher who gives me a failing grade. Oh, it's on.... it's on!"I shall have my revenge! I've got my new belt, and I pity the teacher who gives me a failing grade. Oh, it's on.... it's on!

"Whoa!! Hold up guys! We've got the wrong address! Central Command and the Archdiocese of Brooklyn say we're supposed to be at The Wave looking for somebody named Schwach.""Whoa!! Hold up guys! We've got the wrong address! Central Command and the Archdiocese of Brooklyn say we're supposed to be at The Wave looking for somebody named Schwach."

/TD>
First, there was "St. Elsewhere." Then, there was "ER". Now, ABC presents a new and exceptional medical drama. From the creators of "NYPD Blue" and "The Practice" comes.... "PHC"(Peninsula Hospital Center). Starring, left to right, Sean Connery, Martha Stewart (in her first dramatic role), and Richard Gere. Hospital dramas will never be the same! Premiering January 20 on ABC. Due to intense subject matter, parental discretion is advised.

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