2002-11-23 / Sports

Rolfe Tries To Get the Right Stuff For Week 12

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh The Right Stuff."  - NKOTB
Rolfe Tries To Get the Right Stuff For Week 12

Rolfe Tries To Get the Right Stuff For Week 12

"Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh The Right Stuff."  - NKOTB

Good; now everyone else has that song stuck in their head. Anyway, a 7-9 record last week slowed Rolfe's winning ways, but things are sure to get back to normal in Week 12.

JETS (-3) over Bills- Is it too early for a Jet fan to look up prices for a flight to San Diego, perhaps for sometime in late January? Maybe try to scalp tickets to the big game?

Giants (-5.5) over TEXANS- Remember when all the writers were claiming that the season was over for the local teams? Rolfe never wrote such a thing. (No one still has a copy of the Nov. 2 Wave, right?)

PATRIOTS (-7.5) over Vikings- Do I really think the Patsies will win, or am I trying to jinx them again? Or have I joined the many teenage girls and NFL refs, and developed my own secret little crush on Tom Brady??

Titans (-2) over RAVENS- While all you hear about is the turn-around by the Ramsies, Pitt and both NY teams, Tennessee has quietly strung up a five game winnning streak.

Falcons (-3.5) over PANTHERS- This game is in Carolina, home of America's most dangerous sports fan- Pacey from Dawson's Creek. Apparently young Joshua Jackson was attending a Carolina Hurricanes game a few weekends back, when he allegedly got drunk and attacked a security guard. No word on exactly how many Cosmopolitans or Shirley Temples that Pacey sucked down; whether or not he broke a nail; or if he used a weapon from his purse, or just the purse itself.

Lions (+4) over BEARS- Winner of Worst Game of the Week Award (non-Ohio division).

Jaguars (-2.5) over COWBOYS- Bruce Coslet is doing wonders down there in Dallas as the new offensive coordinator. The Boys average 11.8 points a game; the QB was a minor leaguer baseball pitcher a few months ago, and now Emmitt Smith is complaining about not getting the ball enough. Nice job, Brucey!

Chargers (+3) over DOLPHINS- Bolts should've lost last week, if not for the inept kicking of Jose Cortez (see below). Look for them to enjoy their new lease on life with a win over a still banged-up Miami.

SAINTS (-5.5) over Browns- Sorry Cleveland fans, you're not playing Cincinnati again this year.

Bengals (+10.5) over STEELERS- Teammate of the Year Award goes to Hines Ward, who was quoted on SportsCenter on Monday saying, "I told Kordell (Stewart) to stay ready, because Tommy (Maddox) can't really take a hit." Not the nicest thing to say about the QB who was 4-0-1 in his last 5 starts, turning Pittsburgh's season around. Never mind the fact this was about 24 hours after Maddox suffered a spinal cord injury.

Packers (+3) over BUCS- Last week, Green Bay was everyone's choice as "Best Team in the NFL." One loss to the awful Vikings later, and now Tampa Bay is the new king of the hill. Look for the Pack to take the crown back.

Chiefs (-3) over SEAHAWKS- Think it's going to be embarrassing after this year when Mike Holmgren is unemployed, and 4 or 5 of his former assistants have head coaching jobs? "And now the student is the master..."

CARDS (+7.5) over Raiders- Let down game alert! Let down game alert!!

Rams (-5.5) over REDSKINS- Both teams are making QB changes. St. Loo is bringing back a former league MVP in Kurt Warner; and the Skins.... well, the Skins aren't.

BRONCOS (-6) over Colts- Paulie complains some more about Tony; A.J. knocks up Devin; Christopher has a tough time at rehab.... oh wait, that's a prediction for "The Sopranos," which is on at the same time as this game.

49ERS (-7) over Eagles- Rolfe and Terrell Owens have two things in common. Both have been known to whip out their Sharpies at inappropriate times; and both have had enough of Niners' kicker Jose Cortez. T.O. went nuts on the sidelines as the former XFL-er missed a FG in overtime, which wound up costing San Fran the game. Rolfe was also not pleased, since that made 2 straight weeks in which a Cortez shank cost him some serious cash. How much? Well, I don't like to discuss money, but let's just say I could've bought many, many buckets for the "Thinking Man's Group" up at Crown Fried Chicken.

(Home Team in CAPS)

OTHER NEWS-- Reminder: Rolfe sends his article in each week by noon on Wednesday. The spreads can, and usually do, change between the time I write this and the time you read it.

-- The fine folks at ABC are preparing a new "reality" show for later this winter. The title- "Are You Hot?" Contestants will be graded on their looks by a panel of judges week after week, moving on until one winner is crowned. Rolfe assures his readers that he will not let his participation on the show affect his columns...

-- The scariest thing about Michael Jackson dangling his kid off that Berlin balcony is the fact that Michael Jackson has children.

-- Lost in the confusing Mike Hampton deal from the Rockies to the Marlins to the Braves story is that Florida will pay the pitcher $30 million for 3 years to NOT pitch for them. Reason #21582 that the Marlins' President/GM David Samson should not be asked to help with New York City's budget crisis.

-- Bad enough that the Islanders did not sign any goal scorers during the off-season. But how could they have let fan favorite Dickie Tarnstrom get away?? So far in 16 games, old #8 has 4 goals (2 on the power play) and 14 assists (11 on the PP) for the Penguins. Islander defensemen not named Hamrlik or Aucoin have combined for 2 goals and 11 helpers. Disgraceful.

-- Did that Godzilla thing pan out for the Yanks yet?

Season Record: 78-77-5

Best Bet: Saints

E-MAIL: RockawayRolfe@yahoo.com

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