2002-11-02 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

By Marilyn Gelfand

Resistance and going with the flow are both important in determining how we feel each day. If we are so locked in to our own expectations of how life should be, we will be miserable even if our lives are not so bad. We will be unable to see the good that surrounds us, and instead focus on what should be or what is not fair. Gratitude over some important realizations will be overlooked since we do not have what we want. We fight the flow and continue to be miserable. Recently a family member said she would like to try spiritual techniques because she realized she was hitting a brick wall at work. Hard work and being successful until now are doing her no good in dealing with an uncertain future in the business world. As one company merges with another, often the control goes to unknown individuals. Life becomes so out of our own control. All the resistance she felt in wanting things to go back to the old way was making her unhappy and stressed out. Instead, she felt there must be a better way to flow with life as it presents itself.

We also cannot expect people to act in a way that we think is "right." We can torture ourselves because we did not get what we want from someone else. The other knows exactly why he is acting the way he does. It makes perfect sense to him. People are not little pawns to be pulled out to fill our own scripts of how life should be. The best way to live is to recognize that I am not privy to all the details of everyone's life, both in the present or future, so it's best for me to remain open. Through openness, I can more easily pick up what my own instincts are telling me. My instincts are in harmony with the bigger picture of life, so I know the difference between when I am truly in tune or when I am being impulsive or pushing timing or direction to my own will or insecurity.

If I am experiencing a lot of resistance to the flow of life within myself, the best thing to do is ask myself what am I missing in the big picture. What is it that I want so much and why, that it is clouding my vision. I cannot remain open because of it. Usually it will lead me to the lesson I must be learning at this time. When we resist, it is a good tool to point us in the direction of our current learning opportunity. Lessons may be ones of timing, noninvolvement, recognizing the rights of others to their own perspectives, being open in adversity, or one of other possibilities. It may be uncomfortable or painful, but if I can step outside of myself, it will be worth it for the lesson to be mastered. In hindsight, I know it will seem so necessary, but living through the lesson is not always easy. It involves trust in myself and the Universe/God, and the belief that the future will unfold in a way that I can fit into.

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