2002-08-24 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

By Marilyn Gelfand

Make yourself happy–in small ways and big ones. So much in the world is out of our control, but we still have a large domain over and inside of ourselves. Do I get upset because I am aging and creating wrinkles? Am I listening to the music I enjoy in my own house? Do I eat what others enjoy or what I really want? Do I have a handle on all that concerns me? Do I make time to do what I get pleasure from? The list of questions could obviously go on and on. But in our lives, we have much more control than we sometimes feel we do.

We can choose how we feel. If I know that I always am angry over small things, I can make a concerted effort to evaluate each event that upsets me. I can wake up and decide to fill myself up with loving calm energy or choose to be cranky. I can be mean to others or kind. I can create peace for others, and myself or I can create havoc. If I find my mind starts wandering through all the fearful unknowns in the future, I can stop myself, and say I choose to focus on the good yet to come instead.

We also have the ability to choose to be with people whose company we want. It does not matter how long you know somebody. If you now have the strength to eliminate a selfish person who you really don’t want to see, now may be the moment. For myself, I choose to be with people who are kind and caring and supportive. If I am with others who are "clever" who enjoy gossiping or putting down others with sarcastic remarks, I don’t enjoy myself. I can feel the judgment in their sentences. How did they become so superior? I run from intimidating or controlling people. Some people I know enjoy fighting and getting into drama scenes. Obviously they would choose others as friends.

We must take good care of our needs. If we are tired, we should have the "luxury" of rest. If we feel disorganized, so organization is a priority. The more we pay attention to what we want, the happier we can be, even in the middle of uncertain times.

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