2002-08-17 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points

By Kevin Boyle

There Should Be A Law About This

Just got back from Vermont (state motto: Freedom and Unity) after New Hampshire (state motto: Live Free or Die) and missed a lot of the Rockaway beach controversy (surfers, swimming after 6 p.m., etc). So, maybe I'm bit late getting in the game here but, I gotta ask, what do we do on those 95 degree evenings with no breeze and humidity of a thousand percent? We're asked to conserve energy ---don't use the air conditioner----and we're in a drought so don't even think about turning on that lawn sprinkler. Conserve energy and water but don't put a toe in the ocean after 6. What you should do, apparently, is cool off by spending time contacting elected officials to effect legislative change.

Yep, as I caught up on my reading, I see our precinct commander tells us that there are political mechanisms to make these legislative changes. In the meantime, pay attention to those posted signs or else pay the fine. Keep an eye on those signs, I tell ya, you never know what they might say. According to various websites that list dumb laws in New York state you might soon see signs saying: 1) It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun; 2) A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket; 3) During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks; 4) Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (It's gonna be tough to see the sign if they ever post one about walking backwards. For that matter, it might be tough to see the sign if number 4 becomes popular).

So, I guess those laws make sense because no one's bothered to use the political mechanism to change them. Yeah, right. They haven't been changed because common sense and reasonable judgment on the part of law enforcement prevails over them. As you would hope they would. You know, it's "against the law" to see the sunrise on the beach? So Grandma and Grandpa, and you other early risers, be careful, obey the law. Or pay up. What, do you mean, you used to see the sun rise "when you were kids?" I believe law enforcement calls that a "weak rationalization." Come on, can't you read the signs? The beach doesn't open until 6 a.m. Sunrise happens about fifteen minutes before that. You want to see the sun come up? It may cost you.

Personally, the only sign I'd like to see is the one forbidding the wearing of thongs--- if the strap looks like it's splitting two tubs of cottage cheese.

Boyle-ing Over: I see the deli on Beach 116 wasn't kosher after all. Corned beef hash meant something else, I guess.

***Isn't it great that NYC is being considered for the 2012 Summer Olympics? Guess where planners have proposed to play beach volleyball? Where else but Long Island City? Industrial volleyball, I could understand. But beach volleyball? No point in having it played in Rockaway where volleyball is actually played. No let's import sand---probably from out of state---and build a beach in Long Island City. Meanwhile, in a recent Daily News article, our congressman, Anthony Weiner, seemed lukewarm at best about getting a pool for Riis Park. Think he might've used the Olympics as another reason to lobby for funds for the pool? Nah.

What do we usually have every summer? A lifeguard shortage. Wouldn't it be great---wouldn't it make sense --- for the kids who live here to have a pool nearby so that they could train to be lifeguards? Maybe that would cure the annual shortage. As it is, kids have to travel out of Queens to find a pool.

***Wayne Carey was spotted making a spectacular grab of a line shot foul ball at a recent Cyclones' game. It's cool to make such a catch---even better when there are witnesses who recognize you! (Otherwise, it's like the fish who got away).

***Emil Lucev, the quirky genius behind Historical Views, tells me antique Rockaway postcards are fetching 30 bucks a pop on Ebay. Psst...if you drop Emil a line at The Wave, he'll give you a big discount (and then you can turn around and sell them on Ebay---but don't tell him I suggested such a thing).

***Marty Feeney, the quirky genius behind Broad Channel sports, tells me football is getting underway in the Channel. Kids, ages 5 through 14, can grab a spot on a team. I've seen some of the games and I can tell you it's a blast. Get down to the field on Tuesday and Thursday at 5 p.m. and jump in. They could really use some 7 and 8 year olds and kids for the 13 and 14 year old division.

***A Graybeards basketball roundup appears in the sports section. I hear there was some savage editing "for space." Uh-oh.

***The Wave will try to follow some local kids who play sports in college. Kevin Fitzgerald, Kevin McCormack, Levon Kalolyan, Ray Corrigan, Clare Droesch, and Janelle McManus immediately come to mind. Oh, and Brendan Lunny's another. Are there others. If you know of any I have missed, let me know.


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