2002-06-01 / Columnists

The Inner Voice By Marilyn Gelfand

The Inner Voice By Marilyn Gelfand

Did you ever form an impression of someone interacting with you, and then get the opportunity to see that person in a different situation with other people? Often that person may be behaving totally different than with you. Sometimes we may form an impression of someone as aloof, for example, because that’s how the individual appears to be. In a completely different crowd, that person may be animated and involved. The impressions that we form are only illusions based on how that person chooses to appear in a given moment. Sometimes that impression may be cultivated or it could reflect what level of comfort the person feels.

A lot of the time there may be a confusion between how two people see someone. It may be different perceptions, but it could also be a different energy that the person projects to each one. At work, a man came in to work briefly. All the women saw him as weak with a limp handshake, but the men perceived him as aggressive. The individual changed his energy on purpose to get what he wanted. In the mystery show several years ago, Colombo tried to appear as slow and stupid, while he was really the opposite.

The most important thing to remember in dealing with others is to have them stay outside our boundaries. If someone invades my space, I must react to it. My job is to keep the peace within myself. Part of my protection of my spirit is to have self-respect so that no one can control me. I have to stop those who want to cause me pain. I can decide on how to do it, ignore or speak up for example, but my peace is dependent on not allowing another to make me happy or sad by how he/she decides to treat me. How someone else deals with me is his business, not mine. A person may be under stress or not feeling well, and be short-tempered. That has nothing to do with me or my center of peace. I have to remain separated by the energy that surrounds me in peace, and then I talk to or choose to assist other people. It is very difficult to do, but it is truly amazing to realize that how someone else treats you has more to do with himself than you.

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