2002-04-06 / Columnists

The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

Someone just asked me what was the difference between having spiritual boundaries and erecting walls around oneself. It is very important to have an energy of protection, a boundary, to separate lovely clear energy inside and around us from the rest of the earth. We are open to the highest energy of love and wisdom from God, and we always have our "batteries charged" and protected. When we feel fear or self-doubt, we turn off our own lights and may erect walls of isolation created by the fear. It doesn’t feel good to be weak and doubtful. It feels strong to be connected to God and the Universe and the boundary keeps us whole. It means we have not allowed anyone else to invade our own space, and we haven’t crossed over into anyone else’s path.

Being whole is not easy. It means I do not need anyone else’s approval for my happiness. I can accept the decisions I make as appropriate ones, and I allow people to either like or disapprove of me. I can also respect others’ rights to live their own lives according to their values. I can truly live in the present, guided by my instincts, values and trust in God. This is the ideal. It is extremely difficult not to be influenced by others at times. But being whole means that I value myself and what I believe in. I also have the strength to tell another when that person is hurting me.

We cannot be open without boundaries. When we love another, it is like the bulls-eyes in sunny side-up eggs. Each is separate and whole, and the relationship is like the whites that surround the yolks. We create something outside of each one of us together.

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